Summer 2015….Four

That time of year again for our little mini break. To spend time with the family.
We’re very grateful to my mother in law for letting us stay, when otherwise we wouldn’t manage a break away from home.
North Devon Trip. 
We have recently joined The National Trust, something we’ve been meaning to do, just kept pushing it down the list of things needing doing.
We thought we would investigate a National Trust property on our way to our mini break.
Situated in Arlington North Devon.
This beautiful house, inside and out is worth a visit.
Stunning interior. 
Especially the staircase.
They had a sweet little room for the children to have a play about with some old toys and clothing.

The toddler soon began to show signs that she was getting bored, wanting to go out in the open air.
Where the children had a go at tree climbing and exploring den making.

         
Two of the things that need to be done before they’re 11 and 3/4!
We took a little walk around the gardens, but as we only arrived in the afternoon, we ran out of time for the Carriage Museum, so a full day is needed for exploring the whole grounds.

They also had the Woollen Woods exhibition, which was very cleverly made. 
Here are just a few. 

                   
Splashing in muddy puddles. 
Whilst also remembering Melody.
Highly recommend Arlington Court. 
But would suggest to take a full day for exploring, maybe we’ll finish the walk another time.
* * *
The husband and his brother doing their best impression of being cheeky boys on the first evening.
A trip into Barnstable, whilst the older three went to the cinema, 
to see The Minion Movie.
Was our toddler’s first time.
Whilst myself and the baby had a wander around the shops. 
I even managed to get some fabric for Melody’s prayer flag, which I’ll share on my other blog, once it is finished. 
We had some surprise sunshine, so we sat outside the North Devon Museum, whilst I gave her a feed, enjoyed the gorgeous sunshine….not knowing how long it would last!
With a treat to Wimpy for lunch.
Which the children absolutely loved!
* * * 
Beach Day.

Lucky for us the weather completely went in our favour, although very hot.
We went to a rather pretty beach – Putsborough. 
Only down side is that due to the steepness, was a bit harder with very young children, especially when you had one that didn’t like sand, or unable to walk for any reason and a lot of equipment to take!
Lovely beach just little awkward to get to, so maybe baby wear or get lots and lots of hands!
The children had an amazing time
 Baby’s first sand between her toes

                        

Had some time out together as a couple, which is rare but worth it, to write our little girl’s name here too. I always feel close to her at the beach. 
                   

We were so lucky with the weather.
It made the journey there seem a little less harsh.
You see since Melody died, I’ve had issues with certain things in my life, some of which most people would find small fry. And after speaking to a professional it is quite normal.
Since she died I have become an incredibly nervous passenger/driver, I can usually hide it very well.
Only on this occasion I couldn’t, as we were driving to somewhere (well John was driving) I wasn’t familiar with, it made me panicked and scared, to the point that I was sobbing. More worried of looking silly. 
Feeling a little out of sorts anyway with certain situations, of course being over tired it all really exacerbated things. As I said I manage to hide my fear very well, even from my husband.
But going through the narrow lanes (I’d had a little accident whilst pregnant with Melody too), that I didn’t know, made it difficult for me to contain. 
It’s very hard to explain why, especially to someone who doesn’t understand the trauma that is of losing a child, although it wasn’t through a car accident, it makes things real. 
Actually this is really hard to be, this open about it now, as I feel I guess almost ashamed, I know I shouldn’t, but I have briefly spoken to someone about this, and it IS normal, well what ever normal is that comes with this bereavement.
I feel very lucky that my husband was very, very supportive, no matter how bad I felt, how embarrassed, he held my knee whilst I sobbed until we arrived at our destination, ensuring we did a different route (one I recognised – Croyde). That is how amazing he is. 
They are going to work with me to help get some confidence back.
Lovely seeing some of John’s family.
The children had the best time..

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