#100happydays Day Twenty Nine

Another outing ticked off the 2016 list. With many more planned. I do love the Summer holidays.

Today presented us with a strange trigger. We chose to visit a place we hadn’t been to in four years. Mainly because we run out of time each year. But as my son’s chosen post school treat was to visit Pecorama in Beer,Devon. Being a huge fan of trains,it is one of his favourite places. He’s also been with his school. Complete with model railways, a ride on a train,soft play,play park and picnic area.
The rain clouds teased us most of the day,but it was worth it to see happy smiley children. Even the bubba loved every single minute. (Oh minus the train tunnel, she wasn’t keen on that, a boob helped her the second time..), she was mesmerized. “Look,look” even got a “wow” out of her too.

Beautiful views,and gardens,makes it the most perfect of days out.

The strange trigger. No tears or anything like that, but it was a moment of reflection. Where we’d been,how far we’ve come.
When we visited it was four years ago. August 2012. Four months into the beginning of the bereaved parents’ journey. Living in the immediate aftermath,feeling the aftershocks.
I was roughly 7 or 8 weeks pregnant. I already knew and was beginning to feel the start of HG. We were numb, guilty of having fun without our “should have been” six month old baby,but wanting to be normal and happy for our children.
Torn and broken. Most definitely still unsure how the hell we were going to either move forward, or even get through the pregnancy.

We found a little entertainment area, named Melody Close. It struck us,seeing her name right there. For a brief second (as I’ve never really felt signs as such), I felt as if she was with us.
Of course as with sand photographs we’ve collected with her name,it felt appropriate to take a photo of the sign with her siblings.
We had no idea what we were doing in the raw early days. But then we still don’t,there’s no rule book.

Four years later we return. With that 7/8 week successful pregnancy who is now our crazy 3 year old.
And of course our surprise now 13 month old baby girl.
How much my older two children have grown.
Makes me see how much we’ve all grown as a family, not just by numbers!
Amazes me how far we have come from a simple photo with her name. To where we are now.

This trigger was an OK trigger.

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