#100happydays Day Fifty

Half way there!.
Fifty to go.
The toddler ended up sleeping in the side car cot. The baby in between daddy and I…normal spot.
But instead of her usual milk coma until 8am,she decided 5.15 am was the time to wake. Waking her sister at 5.45 too.

Off downstairs for cuddles instead, by 8 this happened.

Hubby and I haven’t been feeling 100% ourselves, so ended up tag team shut eye on the sofa. 
Not much with toddler shouting “wake up mummy”.

We haven’t visited our lovely girl in ages,so I thought today we would. 
I brought her usual yellow flowers. 
Then once again I backed out.
I’m having that turmoil that hits every so often, about visiting her. Anyone who knows me or have read Melody and Me,will know ii don’t do angels, heaven and I don’t really do signs,visiting means I AM visiting her. 
She isn’t meant to be there. 
I do find it really hard to visit.
But then I feel guilty.
I can’t tuck all my children in,or read a bed time story. 
I did tuck her in,whisper good night and gave her a kiss.
Today, is one of those days.
Where it pinches a little harder.
Tomorrow will be another day.

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