The Red Head Diaries

Mother’s Day

A day where children,partners appreciate the women behind the children. To spoil them give gifts, show some extra love.
The cute cards made from nursery.
The last minute bunch of flowers because dad may have forgotten.
Most embrace the day,enjoy it as an excuse to be pampered. Or a day where the children can show their love for their beautiful mummies.
Others hide away because the wrong chocolates were given, the card wasn’t was perfect as they’d liked. Quietly seethe because they haven’t been spoilt as much as they’d hoped for.

It’s a funny kind of day.
I’m the daughter of a mum I don’t have the best of relationships with,something I can’t talk about, I just can’t be that open about that just now, I’d like a girlie day like others and not feel guilty or crap….
I’m the mum who’d like to swap all gifts I may receive for a cuddle with our daughter. I’d like to not have to visit a grave to have all my children in the same location.
I know I don’t *have* to. But in 2012 our daughter was alive. I had a Mother’s Day card,with her foot print in,almost like it was made by her,with her helpers you know like the ones they lovingly bring home from nursery, so proud because they made it,for their most important person in their life.
I didn’t see her on the actual day,because I had to rest. My husband went that day instead…plenty more mother’s days they told me.
“Next year it’ll be different” they said.
They weren’t wrong.
I would love to give her a kiss. Include her in our group hug or bundle…
Mother’s day 5 minus one.

So many emotions of how we came to be at this point. So many tears that only my husband have seen and dried.
Cherish every moment, arms around the neck and sloppy kisses are all we ever need.
For empty chairs,and heavy hearts are everything I never wanted.

As always I wish things were slightly different.
But I am so lucky to have four pairs of arms around my neck. And a husband who puts up with me.
Spending the day with them all plus my lovely mother in law.

Who has been amazing. Many,many people complain about their in laws but she truly is awesome!
She has held our hands every single step since Melody died. She sees my older two children as her own grandchildren. And when she tells people how many she has she always includes Melody in the number. Never afraid to mention her,never once gotten uncomfortable, never ever expects us to “get over it”.
The children think she’s fabulous too!
She really is worth her weight in gold.
Hope she too enjoys her day.

Happy Mother’s Day to all my lovely Mum friends…especially those who are minus one (or more).

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