Tag Archives: parenting

Working Mum And Stay At Home Mum

Early Jobs

I have always loved working. I’d had Saturday and weekend jobs as a teen; the thrill of your first wage packet, then each one afterwards.
I’ve moaned about different days at work, had tears of sadness and of course the laughter.
My weekend jobs consisted of hairdressing salons, a residential home or photography, the last one I loved!! (I wish I had pursued it).
I left school wanting to be a hairdresser, but quickly realised my mistake and went for a job in the care industry.
There I stayed for many, many years. I switched from different employers but always within the same industry.
From a small residential home to a cottage hospital; to care at home, to a much bigger hospital. I had always loved working.


Having Babies and Maternity

When I went onto Maternity and had babies there were moments where I thought about not returning to work, how I’d miss them, the dread of missing out on all their important moments. But once I had returned I’d always liked it and there was never any question I’d be a stay at home mum. At the time we were lucky to fit child care in with family and friends; it worked well. It felt important to me to keep some kind of social aspect outside of being a Mum. The balance felt right.



I ended up losing my job at the bigger hospital; I was devastated – but I came to other opportunities and was able to experience other things as an agency; and found it even easier to balance home and work life. Things at home then changed; I fell pregnant again, then I wrote my car off (not my fault), I became ill with the pregnancy condition Hyperemesis which saw me having to give up work, or at least take maternity a lot earlier than planned. Luckily for me, these employers were really accommodating to this. When our much-loved baby didn’t make it home; it left me feeling incredibly confused about everything I had ever done since beginning my working life – literally everything changed.

It didn’t take me long to decide that I could not return to doing care work; I told my employers and they told me I could go back anytime. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to.


Staying At Home

With the aftermath and a new pregnancy I didn’t return to any work; I became a stay at home Mum; not only did I have the hyperemesis again; but of course there was no way I could face it; particularly when I knew I would be starting something brand new –  I had no clue what.

I remained a stay at home Mum for three years; we had two babies in that time; I did do the occasional freelance work here and there; but nothing on the scale of making “real” money.

Being a Mummy after an Infant Loss.

It has been wonderful being able to stay at home with them, make memories, do more things with them; not rushing through life. I was able to do more baby groups with baby number 4 and for a short while with baby number 5.

Being a parent after loss certainly changes you; your perspective on life and what is important – but the ugly side was being too scared to leave them with anyone else; too scared to miss out on a moment, even a second of their life; it can be incredibly suffocating and very isolating; which in turn led me to make a new decision.



In 2015, when our youngest turned 4 months old (the same age my eldest was when I returned to work with her); an opening came at the school my children attend; it was to only be an hour and a half a week; but I felt it was an hour and a half of being me again. It wasn’t about escaping the baby or not wanting to be around her; but I really and maybe even selfishly wanted some time to myself, and that was to go to work, even if it was only a very short period per week.

I love it. Working with children is not something I ever imagined doing as a job, but now I can’t imagine doing anything else. Well apart from writing full time!! I have increased my hours; it hasn’t been easy to arrange child care; family members aren’t always available and childcare comes at a price. But we have sussed it and it is working well. I love this little part-time job.

It gives me that little break away from the house; a chance for me to miss them, a chance for them (her) to miss me. It works out really well.



Having been both sides of the coin, a stay at home mum and a working mum; the opinions of others really do show through. How society thinks parents – more so mothers should be with work life, how the government also sees parents too.

Stay at Home Mums in particular get a lot of stick for being home; often the case is like ours where the husband goes out while Mum stays at home –  we were okay with that; but I felt embarrassed (not for anyone else, but me personally), because I wasn’t working, leaving the children for someone else to look after. I felt like I would be judged for not going to work. My mother in law was incredibly supportive of it, and felt that all Mums should have the option to stay at home should they wish, with no repercussions financially or from society. Some families simply can’t afford the childcare – like us.

Working Mums don’t escape the judgement either, through forums or hearing people talk about how these Mums spend no time with the children they choose to have. Some Mums don’t have the financial choice to stay at home; the need to live and support using both parents is greater at times than those wanting to stay home and look after their child; this too is us.

Sometimes it feels like a lose-lose battle.



As parents we really are doing the best we can, whether that means a parent staying at home either through love or because finances need or allow them to; or going to work because staying at home would cost families a home and food.

I have really enjoyed being back to work; I found myself lost and at times incredibly lonely being at home. Not working meant there wouldn’t be many outings or Mums coffee mornings, because of having little or no money. As much as I love my children; I love being able to do nicer things with them, take them places and above all.

Keep my sanity!

Working and home balance

Because parenting is bloody hard work; judgement or not. There’s nothing easy about it – but it is incredibly rewarding.

The Red Head Diaries


This month has flown by, I’m looking through my photos, and I can’t believe how quickly it has gone by.

We were lucky enough to have some beautiful weather over the month, but also not so great, it is nothing new.

Our month kick started with a majorette display and a lovely BB with friends, to celebrate their daughter’s 18th birthday; I must admit I had been a while since I’d had that much fun.

We managed to squeeze in some strawberry picking and a trip to the park, the ground was wet and muddy but we were able to do one of our favourite annual things.

I’d picked up a couple of shifts at work, ones which will become more permanent in the new term, in between them I was able to visit our girl on a weekly basis – it isn’t something we do any more, in fact it is quite rare that we do visit, unless for special occasions or if her siblings ask.


A few things going on in the writing part of my life, as well as becoming a contributor for Still Standing Magazine, I’ve been once again shortlisted for a Butterfly Award. I am very honoured to have gotten this far again. I know there are far more deserving winners, but it’ll be a night away, maybe this time, I will brave a bit longer away. Last time we left the hotel by 6 am, I was nervous about leaving the children – with no reason to be. It is an experience, and a wonderful one at that.

My lovely new camera arrived this month too; I have been very lost without one. I love taking photos from my phone, but there really is nothing like taking them from a proper camera. It isn’t top of the range, but it will do me nicely for now.

I was lucky enough to be invited to watch a friend’s daughter on stage, a production through her college – Spamalot, it was brilliant I loved every minute.

July saw the final month of 2017 majorette competitions, we all had such a wonderful day –  the best even, the troupe members were all treated with a McDonald’s Supper followed by entertainment by their trainers and committee…singing our way home. Not forgetting the Piggy Back Races during the day.

It was a perfect ending to a brilliant competition season.

We took a trip to a National Trust Property, to make the most of the sunshine, a place for the smallest two to have a run around. We love Montacute; it has the loveliest of grounds, easy distance for us to just ’pop’ to for an afternoon walk.

End of term for the children. My eldest left her first year of secondary school, my son moving in to year five, and Mini moving from play school to Primary School in September.

It seems like such a long time coming. Although I have children already at school, due to co-parenting I have never really felt like a “school-run Mum”. Standing on the outside while my Son took his first day at school, it has never been what I had imagined being a school mum would be.

As our daughter begins her journey, I feel like I am beginning this new chapter with her, most siblings follow older siblings in classes at the school, but she won’t be; not that it matters– for us it really will be a whole new experience, new teachers, new classes, a chance to be that “school run mum”. We’re still keeping our options open about whether to keep her at the same school, but for now we’re okay with the choice we made, we know Mini will be happy.

I’m just glad that she gets to go to school.

Afternoon Tea with a friend filled one Saturday afternoon, it was wet, but we had a wonderful walk around the property, head over here to see some of the photos I took. It was nice to have such a relaxing afternoon.

My relaxing Saturday afternoon was followed by a mini fundraiser, in the form of two Tombola stands. One was for Majorettes and other for charity. It was incredibly wet, but worth it to get a spot of fundraising done.

My two older children went away with their Father for the week, I have been missing them terribly, I’m looking forward to the summer adventures ahead.

Final Saturday of the month brought the rain – again. A wet and very soggy Saturday. We did manage a morning out to the very lovely Pecorama in Beer. We didn’t stay particularly long this time due to the weather, but it is one of our favourite local attractions. It was strange going without my Biggest and the Boy, but we had a raffle prize to collect for our up and coming Fund Day, so we decided the girls may have liked a trip out.

Although the weather wasn’t in my favour, there are some amazing views from the attraction.

This pretty much rounds up our July 2017.

My first Magazine article over on Still Standing Magazine will be published on the 17th, while I have a post on Melody and Me scheduled in.

I’m looking forward to our August Adventures.


The Red Head Diaries