Stepping into the next week, with these little belly decorations, they’re right across my belly.
Black, blue, yellow and green!
Having a couple of sick free days too, the nausea doesn’t want to leave just yet though.
Heading into the scary weeks of pregnancy now, this with our lost girl’s birthday coming up too. Hard to have a misty-free mind.
Guilt of having another baby, the unable to bond with another baby, that too brings guilt.
The fear and guilt can be paralysing.
At a time you wouldn’t really expect it, a time where I feel the guilt again for only relying on two or three local friends/husband.
It’s suffocating, making the hormones work over time, tears streaming. Which in turn of course makes me feel sick.
Clock watching for when hubby returns home.
Or counting down the days until my one friend visits,
even the Midwife visits give me a short relief of loneliness.
I think maybe with her birthday approaching its painfully obvious, the lead up exacerbates things.
Doesn’t stop the alone feeling.
I am actually quite shy, I guess this is why I write/blog a lot, it is easier to hide behind a screen.
I can almost be me.
Walking too far due to fear of vomiting is hard, plus it wears me out…crazy I know but sadly that is what comes with Hyperemesis.
I’ll of course get past this.
I always do.
The toddler gives great cuddles, and she asks “You ok?”
Of course, I need to be.
It seems I’m finally getting a little bump.
I’ve usually got a noticeable one by now.
Still in my normal clothes too! Impressive for me.
I’m a big girl anyway. So its nice not to have to resort to maternity clothes yet.
Guess that’s one good thing (the only thing) about Hyperemesis.
It does make me a little paranoid on baby’s size.
Weekly Midwife visit.
She’s so lovely, I think she can tell I am getting more and more nervous.
Baby’s heartbeat was nice and strong.
Always get nervous.
This is why I feel so lucky to have such an understanding team of health professionals.
They accept my wobbles, and understand how painful and hard these next milestones are.
After everything we’ve been through, they have so much patience!
I will get through them!
Had a little helper today, or should I say a helpful patient.
She likes to be very much involved.
Very much enjoys listening to her baby…
Half way there!!