Cheerful List

My Cheerful List #24 Half Term.

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. February Half Term! A chance to share with you something which has made me cheerful during the week, whether it be large or small, it is important to find something good even when it feels impossible. Thank you for joining me! We have reached week 24!

February Half Term

This week off had become very welcomed, the children were beginning to get tired, catching any bugs going and just generally needed a break. We weren’t sure what the weather would be like, it really has been a little hit and miss; but it hasn’t been terrible.

 

Monday

We decided on a quiet day, my older two children were at their Dad’s; so we had snuggles at home. It was lovely not to be rushing around getting ready for work and school.

 

Tuesday

Pancake Day! We met up with a friend and her two girls; meeting at our local café to have pancakes there. They had a lot of energy between them so made to decision to take a walk at our local Nature Reserve. We’ve not been there for months it is still as lovely as ever. The girls and their friends fed the ducks, run around and burnt some energy. It was so lovely to be out. Then we had Pancakes in the evening, yummy.

 

Wednesday

The original plan was to meet with friends and visit one of our local National Trust properties, however Baby Red woke up and was incredibly clingy, which resulted in her vomiting not long after. Which meant no meeting with friends; after a sleep for a few hours she perked up but wasn’t right until much later in the day.

Wednesday was also Valentine’s Day, where my husband spoilt me as per usual; including my new Dobby mug. I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day, so am not very good at enjoying it. Here’s why. It took me many years to like it even a little bit again. It’ll always be different.

 

Thursday

Another quiet day, I had a headache on and off, desperately hoping it wouldn’t turn into anything to put off plans for the end of the week. We attempted to sort things in the house too ready for decorating and new beds.

 

Friday

Half Term

The weather was actually nice again, cold but not raining! So, we took a visit to the Nature Reserve again, this time including my older two as well. We live really close to it – we’re really lucky. It was such a lovely walk, the children enjoyed it. Fresh air makes everything seem better. Two of them had majorette training in the evening, really proud of them all to be continuing with this hobby, my son is on Panto break for a few weeks, so will return to training soon.

Little Red has found a new love in majorettes; she’s been doing it since she was three and competed once or twice that first year; then went on to have a break due to starting school and not sleeping. She really missed it, and figured she won’t sleep no matter what we do (it is getting better!), we let her re-join. Slow start but she absolutely loves it!

 

Saturday

A long-awaited trip to our local theme park – Crealy! They had a special half term offer of £10 a person; we took advantage of it and went with friends – new friends. It was a really lovely day; I hadn’t been in many years, my husband and our two younger girls have never been; my older two go regularly. So many rides, so much to do and see – we didn’t see or use it all due to time. We would definitely recommend a second visit. Crealy offers a free 6-day return if people are interested in going back again, ideal if used at the beginning of a half term.

 

Sunday

Today we are having a quiet day! Little Red is playing on the Xbox; baby Red is ‘taking notes’. I am working up to finishing the first draft of a book which I am writing. I have procrastinated far too long! This book is actually book two of a series of children’s books that I have been playing about with; I had started this one through the annual event Nanowrimo – November’s National Writing a Novel Month. I had done a big chunk of it, and then I didn’t finish it. Then I will attempt to finish the first one.

 

Here is my flash fiction post from Friday, I hope you enjoy it – Don’t Touch Me.

Not long until the next half term, two weeks at Easter.

 

 

 

Don't touch me

Don’t Touch Me. Flash Fiction

I have always loved people watching; for as long as I can remember they fascinate me somewhat. Going about their personal business, some walking in the same direction, but not to the same destination; strangers together. Their lives seemed busy, for whatever reason.

As I walk amongst the crowd, weaving in and out; being careful not to touch or be touched by anyone, I like to keep clean. Keeping my head down as much as I can too; I struggle with eye contact with people; it makes me feel strange – guilty perhaps. They could be having a bad day, and making eye contact would mean that I have ignored them. Simpler just to avoid; I don’t think I am noticed much anyway – I like that too. I am fairly shy and prefer to go be unnoticed; it made my day peaceful; leaving me with only a small number of jobs I am given daily, these days I like.

My job is a difficult one, it really is never easy, but one that is needed to be done. There are quite a few of us in this field, dotted around the world. We rarely interact with each other; we can work alone, when we do come together it is usually the worst kind of days, days we like to avoid. I like my own company, I think the others feel the same none of like the team working days.

My first call of the day is fairly early; it is in a house – I say the first call, I have visited here several times this week, I don’t like to arrive too quickly if I can help it, although I think it was preferred that I completed the jobs a day or so ago. But I like them to have the important things out of the way; it doesn’t make any sense to me to interrupt these.

I can’t put this off any longer.

As I stand to look at the large black wooden front door – it looks quite old – I always like to knock, but I never wait for the door to be answered. You see people don’t like me being in their homes, I try desperately to not be made aware of – most of the time these people know that I am coming.

As I enter the house, I remove a small bottle from my pocket, placing a drop of the gloopy liquid from inside onto my hands and rubbed them together; I like to remain clean all the time, hence why I am not overly keen on being touched, amongst other reasons. I can hear voices from the rooms upstairs, everywhere else seemed cold and empty.

I begin to slowly climb the stairs, a voice shouted over me to whoever was downstairs, within seconds they were running past me, I made sure that nobody touched me or that I got in their way. Reaching the top I took a breath. “This part never gets easier.” I sighed to myself. Slowing my pace as I edged closer to the door at the end of the hallway. It was a long one, passing several dark doors as I walked.

It seemed so small, but there were many people in there, not a lot of space to move. Politely but quietly I said “Excuse me”, as I tried to get by. I can’t be sure they really heard, I never know if I ever get heard.

A path naturally cleared for me; I continue to be careful not to be touched too much, and where my hands placed, for a moment I was able to reach for my tiny bottle again; can’t be too clean. In front of me a bed with an elderly gentleman lying under his covers, he appeared to be sleeping; he obviously wasn’t well. Above the voices which were filling the room, I could hear his laboured breathing and the soft beating of his heart. I continued closer to him; I do hope I can help him.

I crouched down close to his ear.

“I’m here for you.”

Whilst I placed my hand upon his chest, I could instantly feel the final rise and fall as he took his final breath; my hand rested next to those who love him. Carefully sliding my hand away, I stepped back to ensure nobody could sense my being there, I certainly didn’t want contact with them in any way – it wouldn’t be the first time.

The paperwork I need to fill, identities I need to check most of the others who work the same as me use modern technology but I still prefer book and pencil. This one was pretty standard. As hard as they are I like these jobs. I can begin my journey to my next destination.

The cries of sadness trail behind me, I am used to that noise now – well almost.

I didn’t have another in the area, so I made my way to my car. I managed to drive a little way, traffic was building up, the three lanes were filling up. It was then I noticed other members of my team dotted around the queuing traffic, we made eye contact and I knew this wasn’t the end of my day.

The man in the car next to me looked across, he smiled. They usually do.

Seconds later a large tanker ploughed into the car next to me and into others. My quiet day had now ended.

My Cheerful List

My Cheerful List #23

The Red Head Diaries

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. A chance to share with you something which has made me cheerful during the week, whether it be large or small, it is important to find something good even when it feels impossible. Thank you for joining me! We have reached week 22!

 

Support Group

Just under two years ago, I took the plunge and set up a face to face support group for pregnancy and infant loss; it has been a slow start, and at times I wondered what I was doing. But more recently people have been coming and I am really proud of what it is achieving. In a selfish point of view has made me feel less alone. I am so pleased I didn’t give it up. I have so much more I want to do, but it really is a case of one very slow step at a time; with a hint of frustration of not getting the things I want to get done quicker! Overactive mind I guess. Any, I am so proud of this little group.

 

Mumble

This month’s group I invited a local businesswoman, she does embroidery amongst other things. I asked her for a very special bear; one with our daughter’s name on. They’re so amazing; we will get one each for them all. They are incredibly soft too. Yes, we are very happy with our new special bear.

Mumble Memory Bear

 

Grants

The group – Little Daffodils I run was included in our local carnival grants, so I had to go and collect the cheque along with a cheque for the majorettes with some of the committee team. I hate public speaking, I get all shaky and stutter – it seems to NEVER get easier!! We did have a lovely time, and turned it into a bit of a social gathering too.

Fundraising

It was the majorette bingo this week, as always a lot of fun. We had a good team and my daughter even won some Quality Street sweets which she was super excited about.

 

Mum’s Cheerful Day Out

Every couple of months my friend and I go and spend a few hours together without the children. We went to a New to You Sale; we then went for a light lunch. It was just lovely, dare I say it a little too peaceful! I managed to get my almost 5 year old a bag full of dresses and my son an outfit for just under £20. Nothing wrong with them, just preloved, she certainly loves them.

 

What a better week, looking forward to the half term break now, will see what it’ll bring.

Favourites

January 2018 Favourites

The first month of 2018 is over, it has been a slow, wet and miserable one; with lots of thoughts to the Spring and the Summer! They seem so far away. Here are my January favourites.

In Sickness and In Health

We have certainly pushed these vows quite hard this month; poorly stomachs, anxieties; my husband continually suffering from his leg ulcer and a bout of tonsillitis in the mix too! It has not been a fun start to the year. I really hope it will only get better. I don’t have the patience to be poorly.

New Diet

I made the decision to cut meat from my diet; I used to be a vegetarian but when I was pregnant I craved real meaty spaghetti bolognese; so I ended up returning to eating meat. I have never really been a big meat eater; would rarely venture aware from Chicken. So I decided to remove it altogether. Initially it was just for January but as we have reached the end, I now think this will be a new permanent thing. I don’t miss it at all! I hope by switching to a healthier lifestyle I will feel better and continue that way too.

Favourite Vegetarian Food This Month

Linda McCartney’s Meat-Free Roast; served as a roast with veg, very yummy!

Snacks would be celery and houmous.

Don’t get me wrong it hasn’t all been lettuce leaves and tomatoes, but a calorie counted in WHITE KitKat had to be allowed somewhere!

 

January Weigh-In

With the new diet in mind, of course being under the weather, plus taking on extra hours, it has all been a contributing factor to losing a little bit. I am not a big fan of the big companies where you pay for the privilege to lose weight, so I calorie count, introduce smaller portions, cut out the crap and drink more water – or at least drink less caffeine too.

This month I have lost 3.5kg which is: 7.7lb.

I am happy with that; it is a loss and not a gain.

 

Birthday Boys.

Who thought it would be a good idea to have a birthday in January?! Well, both my husband and my son’s birthdays are in January! I kind of feel sorry for them having it so close to Christmas; I know they’re not comparable to those who do have them in December, but it is still too close!

My boy’s birthday was the first out of the two. The up-side to having the January birthdays is if you missed something at Christmas, you can use their birthday as a back-up! His birthday haul included Minecraft Stories Xbox 360 game. Am I the only one who simply does not get Minecraft? Even less the part where they watch other people on YouTube do it?! Maybe I am just getting old.

A dressing gown, books and a stunt scooter; which he absolutely loves so far!

We took him and a friend out for Bowling; they had a brilliant time.

Five days later, it was my husband’s turn. Check out his haul here – plus his weight-loss journey; he is doing amazingly.

 

January’s Blog Posts – My favourites.

I am trying desperately to find my mojo again, so attempting to continue to blog regularly AND keep up with it.

This month I started Flash Fiction Friday; which has so far gone really well. I have also shared a couple of one-off pieces too.

Take a look!

The Fall of Terra

National Kiss a Ginger Day

Working Mum vs Stay at Home Mum

 

I also have written on my other blog too

Please Bear With Me.

 

I hope the start of 2018 been a decent start for you all.

Thank you for reading and sticking around.

Don’t forget My Cheerful List runs every Sunday and Flash Fiction each Friday.

My Cheerful List

My Cheerful List #22. Darkness

The Red Head Diaries

 

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. A chance to share with you something which has made me cheerful during the week, whether it be large or small, it is important to find something good even when it feels impossible. Thank you for joining me! We have reached week 22!

I am a little late with this; in all honesty I was in two minds whether to do it at all. But I am here.

Darkness

The weather has been so crap these last few weeks; any plans we make seem to be washed away. It has been incredibly hard again to find something cheerful in the days; it had become almost like living Groundhog Day. I got to the end of the week feeling incredibly drained, and felt like utter shit, exhausted mentally and physically. It has kind of hit me hard. I hate feeling this way. I have decided to lessen social media use; not be so hard on myself when I don’t write – with thoughts of nobody reads them anyway!! Ha! I will schedule ahead if I want to, but generally step away from technology for a while. I have hit breaking point. Of course I will have a read maybe once a day (I like the time hops, especially this time of year when the “Melody” posts appear. It had gotten too dark, I am struggling.

 

Light

Of course to balance it out, I spent the weekend only turning on my data/Wi-Fi once a day – it was lovely, I saw more things, more of my children; but out the car window – and just relaxed without my phone in hand or to my face. I had spent so long using it as my support system, the people in my phone are amazing, but there came a point that it also makes you feel incredibly lonely too. It just felt so lovely to put the thing down, no blog, just notes for my books but that was it. People will just have to ask for my mobile number. I have been incredibly lucky to have two of my favourite (adult) ‘J’s pulling my chin up. They can always make me cheerful.

 

Cheerful Plans

I have made plans with a couple new school Mum friends for the half term, with maybe even an evening out too! The children are really excited; plus plans with another friend for our regular Saturday afternoon adventure.

 

Family time

As I said above we went out for the day on Saturday, only to the shops and a spot of naughty lunch; we’d planned the park but as always it was raining! Sunday my older two went to their dad’s, so we had a day at home watching Harry Potter; they’re all big fans, I managed to get little red her own cape, which she absolutely loves! Then in the evening we spent some time with my husband’s family. That was really lovely, needs to be done more often!

 

So, this is my cheerful list this week.

Just in case you missed other posts which went out this week, here they are!

Fiction Friday.

Can’t Look Away.

Don't touch me

Flash Fiction Friday – A Prologue

This is a prologue from a book, which I have almost finished; which will be part of a series.

The bright lights that had surrounded her for so long, became blurry, duller they didn’t make her blink as much.

Darker and darker her surroundings became until there was nothing but black, had she gone blind? Or was it just that black. She could feel herself falling, she couldn’t see where she was falling, how far she’d be falling or if she’d ever stop; she felt strangely calm. The silence was deafening.

She landed with a loud thud, it echoed, over and over.

Eye closed tight she laid on her back facing, what she assumed was up; afraid to open in fear of them hurting, she didn’t want any light to hurt them more. Her body stiffened something nudged and scratched deep in the middle of her back, it was uncomfortable she couldn’t quite reach around with her arm to feel what the discomfort or attempt to make it stop.

The scratching made her squirm and wiggle, in the hope that it would stop; a little stretching in her back and it was soon over; instead a tickling sensation replaced it, it wasn’t as uncomfortable.

She forced her eyes open, she could see a new dull light, and more natural than the one she remembered and was used to.

She blinked repeatedly, thankfully it didn’t take them long to adjust. She stood a short while, she had no idea where she had landed or how she would get out, if she ever would but she knew that everything was now different. Standing still concentrating, taking it all in the tickling sensation in her back begun again, making her lift off the ground slightly, it made her gasp. Peering over she shoulder, she noticed wings, yellow silky with five tiny diamonds attached to them, they fluttered gently, they were obviously brand new. She most certainly didn’t begin her journey with them, she couldn’t find instructions; she knew then she would have to be self-taught.

The beams that shone down around her, became wider the further forward she floated; every now and again she could feel herself lowering slightly, encouraging herself to make use of her precious new equipment. It became easier the further she went.

Pleased with herself she figured out the harder she fluttered the higher and slightly quicker she travelled. This felt fun.

The higher she rose, she began to be as high as the birds, they nodded as they passed her, slightly lowering herself she caught sight of the bees, she hoped she could become friends with them, but they looked too busy.

Up ahead she could see an array of colour, pinks of all different shades, bubbles she could see a name similar to her own on there, she wondered if they were destined for her. She chased and played with them for a short while, while they hovered in the calm breeze, until a sudden gust of wind sent them further away from her, causing her to somersault as they floated by. She tried to see where they were from, lowering herself a little, she didn’t want to get too close.

A dark cloud appeared just above her, rain began to fall; they felt heavy on her back, on her wings. She could feel herself getting heavy at the same time; her energy was beginning to fade too. She got closer and closer to the ground, but she couldn’t find the energy to fight it, to keep herself up.

Gently floating lower, until she hovered slightly over ground gently placing her feet on to the ground. Standing still she realised she had landed in what seemed like a garden, turning on the spot she found what looked like an old tree stump, it appeared to be vacant, she felt relieved that she could maybe rest her head for a short while, or at least until she figured out what her next plans would be.

 

She closed her eyes. Dreaming of new tomorrows.

 

Note from the Author: Thank you so much for joining me each Friday for these pieces of fiction. They’re different pieces, which I wasn’t intending to publish as part of this series but haven’t been feeling 100%. I love writing fiction, and have loads more to share. 

Thank you for reading my flash fiction. 

My Cheerful List

My Cheerful List #21

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. A chance to share with you something which has made me cheerful during the week, whether it be large or small, it is important to find something good even when it feels impossible. Thank you for joining me! We have reached week 21!

 

Final Week of January!

We have had our final full week of January; what another dreary week! I am so over winter, and completely impatient for the Spring and the Summer to arrive; to be able to do things with the children; which doesn’t include nursing coughs and colds!

 

Wheezy Baby

Took Baby to the Doctors this week; I have been meaning to do it for a while. She suffers from wheezing; either through a cold or something she is intolerant to slips in; making her have a reaction. Sometimes she just has a bout of wheezing. The doctors wouldn’t diagnose asthma, due to now liking labelling children under 5. They have put it down to viral wheezing, with a complication from the dairy intolerance – whatever that means. She has been given an inhaler to take four times a day; and had a three day round of steroids; which she has completed.

I hate I when she struggles to breathe, but she is usually in good spirits with it.

 

Results

Ten days ago, I finally plucked up the courage to have my smear test. It wasn’t the actual procedure – I have had PLENTY of internal examinations during my time of carrying babies; they don’t worry me. Stupidly, I guess I was terrified of the results. Intrusive thoughts; make me worry more.

I am relieved to find when I opened the post; that my results are normal. No more tests for another 3-5 years. Fear of the results or not I won’t put it off again.

 

Cheerful Part

So, there isn’t a lot to be cheerful with my posts again this week. But the one thing which has made me cheerful; is the amazing feedback I have received about a piece of fiction I wrote. I had written it as a guest post for my husband a couple of years ago; chose to place it on my own blog. Now; I have been encouraged to take to piece further – maybe make it into a novel or at least a longer piece. Sci-fi isn’t my usual genre, but I will give it a go!

 

I hope you have had a lovely week; and that the next week will too bring you at least one thing that makes you cheerful.

 

Here, is this week’s Flash Fiction in case you missed it.

Don't touch me

Fiction Friday. A Prologue Snippet.

This is an excerpt from some Fiction that I am currently working on. 

Every morning as dawn broke the Church doors would unlock and Amy would take a walk in and around the church grounds; she’d look at the headstones, there were a few new ones; but mainly old and now lost and forgotten. Many thoughts crossed her mind,  even those of wonder –  whether this would soon become her final resting place; wondering if she would even get a headstone and if her unborn baby would be with her.    Amy had even envisaged a burial plot; under a pretty little tree that she imagined would blossom during the summer months; sprinkling petals over her abandoned grave in years to come.

She continued to gently walk aimlessly.   She began to talk a little to her delicate bulging stomach, this would be the only conversation she would have. A cold chill swirled around her;  it was then she decided to go back inside the church; where once again the doors would close magically behind her.

The frail old woman hurriedly approached her; where she became forceful with Amy; almost seemed frustrated with her. Forcefully holding her by the arms while she placed her hand hard onto Amy’s growing stomach, she muttered something quickly and quietly; which sounded like a chant or a spell; willing the birth of the unborn baby quicker.   She ripped her hand away. Amy stepped away quickly; wrapping her arms around her stomach for protection for her unborn child. Frowning at the woman; confused by her new hostile behaviour.

Outside, a blizzard was looming; heavy snow hit the stained glass windows of the church, Amy silently but quickly made her way to the big Oak doors, they hadn’t yet been bolted from her walk outside; she had only assumed she had now outstayed her welcome with Cora the person she had looked to as an angel that had taken care of her these last weeks.   But as she neared them the bolts pulled themselves across to lock the door.   Amy hadn’t noticed that the elderly woman was right behind her; ready to pull Amy away from the door, with some surprising force, to stop the teen from escaping.

She pushed Amy to the floor.   Shocked and frightened she slowly got to her feet; looked at her attacker then looked around. She was looking for some kind of exit and she noticed a little oak door to the side of her; maybe this could be her door…   She pushed, pulled, even kicked it; while tugged at the dirty brass doorknob; with no movement; it was very old and locked.    Cora followed the 14-year old’s every move, every footstep-like a shadow.  She again grabbed Amy with force by her arm.

Pulling her close, she placed her hand tightly onto Amy’s large pregnant stomach; she let out a horrified and painful gasp while tearing herself away from the cold elderly hands, replacing them with her own warm hands, protecting her unborn child.  Cora disappeared.

Amy took the opportunity to try and escape again through the old side door, “Surely there is a way to get out of here?” She muttered to herself. Amy once again kicked and punched the door.  She could see movement out of the corner of her eye, Amy turned to see the not so frail Cora slowly walking effortlessly towards her – as if she was gliding- carrying something in her arms.

Amy began to panic throwing bibles, prayer mats and iron candlestick holders at the woman; all of which missed her.  When Amy failed to hit the woman in self-defence, she began throwing the objects at the ancient church stained glass windows in the hope it could be her escape route; or the very least a passerby would hear. She finally smashed a window; one of which had the beautiful Virgin Mary mastered in to.  This angered the woman; she quickened her pace toward the terrified pregnant girl.

The elderly woman carried a bowl of warm water and fabric – possibly old curtains.  Amy concentrated harder on her escape she wasn’t quite tall enough to reach the window she had smashed; for a moment she couldn’t see Cora. The hood of her cloak now rested on her shoulders. Thick, unkempt, white hair down to her shoulder blades.

Cora was able to creep right up behind Amy, pulling her with force off the pew she was standing on to attempt her escape; she hit the floor, hard.  Cora grabbed Amy by a handful of hair; dragging her whilst she kicked. Cora came across a frail, elderly lady; but the truth was she had utter strength behind her. Amy yelled in pain toward the open space at the altar.

Amy silenced herself with fear, now lying on the cold stone floor, too scared to move.  Cora stood over her as she forcefully pulled Amy’s legs to buckle beneath her.  Amy attempted to stop her by kicking which only made Cora angry; making the grip tighter, with that unbelievable strength.  With her long thin pointy fingers, she placed them deep beneath Amy’s tatty long skirt…

It all happened so fast; Cora stood up and took a step back watching as pain ripped through Amy’s tiny teenage body.  Water surrounded the girl making it too slippery for her to stand.  There were waves of pain which paralysed her; all the while she still tried to protect her unborn baby with nothing but just her arms.  Amy thoughts were only to her death, she knew she was about to die, no one would know or even care. Not even her family, she was dead to them, the moment she discovered her pregnancy.  She tried to stand, but could only kneel; she was desperate for the pain to disappear.  Cora continued to stand close, arms folded with no emotion or word to say; she pulled Amy to her feet dragging her a short space to the font; where she submerged the girl’s head into the clear water…

Fiction

Source: Tumblr

My Cheerful List

My Cheerful List #20

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. A chance to share with you something which has made me cheerful during the week, whether it be large or small, it is important to find something good even when it feels impossible. Thank you for joining me! We have reached week 20!

The Impossible

So, I have found that first “impossible week,” where I am struggling to find something cheerful during my week. It has felt quite the opposite if I am honest. I have been absolutely exhausted this week; with no signs of it getting much better. Both my mind and my body shattered; which led to full body aches and pains; and as I write this I am currently suffering from tonsillitis; with Friday just gone being the worst affected – which made me feel guilty with it being my lovely husband’s birthday.

I know nobody enjoys being ill, but I hate it and constantly counting down to when I should be better again; then it frustrates me when I don’t.

 

Work

I have done extra shifts this week, and have repeated volunteering at the school too; which is lovely. I have now been given a regular set of children I get to work with. I am trying to get used to them all calling out “Mrs S…” when I arrive. It is amazing!

 

Nurses Appointment

I had an appointment with the nurse this week; not one for visiting the doctors or surgery; I try to avoid if I can help it. But I had a long overdue smear test appointment; I knew I needed to get it done. I suffer from health anxiety – it is horrible, it puts me on edge a lot; so it hasn’t been the procedure that has out me off, it is the outcome. Obviously, I now have that wait for the results; I just have to hope that they are okay.

I walked in; she asked why I hadn’t been in for a while for my smear, then I began to cry. Everything came pouring out from the health anxiety, how it stems from losing M. She listened – for the first time in a long time, I actually felt like my words were being heard. She explained how what I am going through is a form of PTSD. I need to try and take care of myself. There were some other things said, which my husband and I need to talk over, it just felt nice to be spoken to and listened to in a sensitive manner, having lost all faith in the support system. It felt comforting.

 

Cheerful

As I said above it hasn’t been an overly cheerful week; but I am incredibly lucky to have my family, they somehow always find a way to make me feel cheerful. My son enjoyed his new scooter – a belated birthday present. The husband seemed to enjoy his birthday presents too.

My eldest daughter had a parents evening this week; it was very positive. She has chosen her G.C.S.E subjects; which he will begin in September.

So, even when the week has mostly been rubbish. I have managed to find something cheerful this week.

 

I have some posts which went live this week here they are in case you missed them.

Working Mum and Stay At Home Mum

Flash Fiction Friday –This one I had an amazing response to; which has now given me some ideas.

 

And I revived from Melody and Me as it appeared on my Time Hop

What Day Would You Want To Live Again?

Have a good week.

Flash Fiction

Flash Fiction – The Fall of Terra

I’d read it on the newsfeeds, watched the reports; I never thought it would come to this certainly not in my life time.

Reporters stuttering as they themselves didn’t believe what they were reading in front of them.  I remember being sat in History lessons learning of ancient myths of world wars ending humanity, but it carried on.  The fear of “The Millennium Bug” causing the world to stop turning, but again, humans lived to tell a funny tale.

Time and time there were rumours, where the next day it was laughed about and then forgotten only now, now there was a real fear. I could hear the screams piercing through my crystal made windows, little explosions lighting the streets outside. I still wasn’t sure if this was the real deal, as I said before I had read up on so many ‘threats’ in years gone by, all I could think of was we would wake up in the morning, a normal day.  I didn’t ever recall reading about explosions or real terror, just speculation; was it really like back then?

Was it all a bit of fun?

Or was it something just to keep us on our toes?

Well it most certainly was doing that.

Fearful and feeling lonely I stepped out; I couldn’t bear the sound of the intense screaming and shouting that was happening outside of my home. Opening the door I could see small fires spread almost evenly along the road, whatever was coming for us knew what it was doing. There were rumours of an Okarnagan resurgence; zombie plague fears, was it some kind of religious cult? Should I be praying for a place somewhere nice and sunny, I didn’t know.

I felt surprisingly calm, with the belief, “It’ll never happen to me”.

Walking down the street carelessly watching the fancy triangular hover-vehicles’ crash spontaneously into sides of buildings, some ricocheted off, others melting into the foundations leaving behind only red mist.  The smell stung my nose somewhat.  There seemed to be people everywhere, buildings half destroyed, this was real.  The sky began changing, looked like many different colours, vibrant greens, medium purples; a reflection somehow.

As I turned to look, a woman; a stranger took my hand and held it tight; I could feel her shaking through my scared clammy skin, could she see the future?  Did she know what was happening?  I opened my mouth to speak to her, but the noise that surrounded us was deafening.  The sky darkened, my heart which was beating dramatically not so long ago, seemed to calm itself within my frame, a false calm.

An eclipse was coming, I still felt in denial, this wasn’t real the woman stood next to me was in keeping with everyone else. Her eyes wide with fear, someone else’s hand grabbed my other hand a circle was formed, stillness surrounded us.

Darkness fell.

“It’ll never happen to me.”