caesarean section tips

Getting Through a Caesarean Section

Having a caesarean section is never an easy option. Some opinions wouldn’t agree, but having major abdominal surgery to safely deliver a healthy baby is too often the only option.

Although I was induced and tried for many, many hours to have a vaginal birth; it still resulted in an emergency caesarean. My first daughter was born small but safe. I went on to have a further four, with a mixture of electives and an emergency. No two were the same, but each gave me a baby.

Here are a few things which helped me during the recovery.

My final caesarean I was also sterilised, so my abdomen was a lot more sensitive than my other babies’.

Suitcase Goodies

I played Suitcase Tetris so many times, in the months (yes I said months!) leading up to the caesarean dates; if I am honest I still packed too much!

I don’t need to tell you the obvious for you and baby – so here are maybe some of the less obvious ones.

  • Straws (non-plastic of course). It isn’t the easiest to move after the operation so; to manage a drink isn’t easy either. But you really do need to keep your fluids up.
  • Flip-flops (or Slides). Footwear that is waterproof, easy to get on so you can wear them in the shower; hospital showers aren’t always the nicest under foot – but also you lose a lot of fluid too.
  • I was always offered tea and toast once back in recovery (why is that always one of the best meals you ever get?!). Pack something healthy and naughty to nibble on in the middle of the night.
  • Coffee sachets. You can often get your favourite coffee made up in individual sachets.
  • Maternity Pads, the hospital do supply some, but they’re often not as nice as the ones you get from the shops. There’s also the option of postpartum cloth sanitary towels too, which are even more comfortable.
  • Dry Shampoo. The hospital gets very hot and sticky, and while waiting for your anaesthetic to wear off the spray can make you feel a little more human.

 

The Birth

You can request skin to skin with your new baby, it wasn’t until my 5th baby that I knew this could be done, if you have the screens it isn’t the most comfortable of positions, but it can be done, and so wonderfully beneficial to both you and baby.

Cord Clamping, again this wasn’t something which was done until my 5th baby, but I have a wonderful photo of my daughter sprawled out on my legs, while still being connected; I won’t show as she is completely naked, legs and arms stretched out completely brand new!

Photos, there is most likely someone available to take photos of the birth if your partner isn’t comfortable, or if you would rather your partner be next to you. My very first baby a health care professional took photos of the whole birth, right to when she was born. My last baby as I mentioned before I have a photo of her chilling out waiting for her cord to stop.

Also be prepared if your baby is born in a rush, or unexpectedly poorly, there may not be an opportunity for photos; rest assured should you be separated there will (hopefully) be other opportunities.

Little Extras

You don’t have to have visitors; you are well within your rights to say no. If is incredibly overwhelming having this tiny new human to look after without out queues of visitors. Of course, they’re excited and happy for you; but (providing baby is healthy and coming home) they really do have plenty of time to meet baby. The bed spaces aren’t big either, so can feel claustrophobic too.

Have a towel or muslin cloth handy to hold across your stomach while coughing or laughing, this helps with the pain giving a little support to your new stitches. Try and move as much as you can to relieve any stiffness.

Going home; I was incredibly lucky to go home 24 hours after delivery with three of my babies. To be honest our youngest two we made sure this request was taken care of due to anxieties of being in the hospital. Make sure you do rest when you go home; take one day at a time. Remember to take regular pain medication, there are no prizes or point scoring if you do or don’t accept the pain medication.

Ask for help; accept offers of cooked meals, or babysitting any other children. Not all Dads can get the time off after, or at least not long enough when it comes to recovery.

 

Finally

Enjoy being waited on if you are able to. Enjoy your newborn. If you have to turn away extra visitors due to hormones, or feeding or just simply wanting time alone to adjust; have no guilt in doing so. If and when you do have visitors, let them make the tea!

Settling in with a new baby can be hard work without the added surgical pain; take your own time.

 

 

Congratulations on your new baby!

cheerful

My Cheerful List #32 Finding Friendship

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 32

Summer Term

First week back from the Easter Break, we have done virtually nothing. It has been nice to be back to a routine, but it has only just made me regret not doing a lot over the Easter break – of course the chicken pox put a stop to doing a great deal, but by not doing something always gives me some kind of “mummy guilt.” It has been lovely being back to work, as always it feels like I’ve never been away.

 

Midweek Plans

This week, although still very damp underfoot the rain held off enough to take a walk around one of our local National Trust properties. I love having a membership, especially during the nicer weather; the children love visiting them too. I really hope the warmer weather will be here soon.

 

Charity Things

We have received the videos to the interview we had last month; I feel incredibly proud to be a part of something so amazing. I find it strange to know that I did have a small part on this, when I really don’t have the confidence or self-esteem to do these sorts of things. I have also almost completed the first stage of a little package I have wanted to put together for a while, but I don’t know why – same with writing my novels – but I get so far, then fear kicks on and then I stop moving forward. I just pause anything I am doing; then regret it!

I don’t know why I do this, I need to stop letting fear waste my time, especially when I see others with similar ideas! Anyway I am hoping that the first little project will be up and running by the end of May, June at the latest.

 

Saturday Fun

My five year old had a birthday party; she was able to spend time with some of her closest friends. I asked her if she has a best friend; she replied “no”. For a second I felt a little bit of sadness, when she continued and said “they’re all my best friends, mummy.” I think finding friendships is always a big worry when you’re a parent; I do worry for her sometimes when she isn’t always part for the crowd. But I do think she has found her tribe.

I am glad; while she has found hers… four of us left our daughters to party while we had our own little party.

I say party, what I mean is child-free lunch. Where we could chat, drink AND eat; without stopping 25,000 times. I, too think I may have found mine.

 

Have a lovely week – I hear it is going to be a warm one!

caesarean section awareness month

Caesarean Section Awareness Month

Although I was born via caesarean section in the ‘80s it always used seemed to be a bit of a taboo subject if a woman ever needed one.

I was certainly determined to have a vaginal birth. Television, films made vaginal births seem so magical. I wanted that rush of love that these women seemed to have; that is exactly how I imagined child-birth to be.

We were excited about meeting our new baby, from the moment we knew. I was nervous due to a previous miscarriage, but the birth was exciting and new. I had fully planned on having a baby via a “natural” delivery.

 

The Natural vs The Not-So

Rather than using vaginal birth or caesarean section, it can often be drummed into us that vaginal birth is “natural”. Well, yes it is, it is what women’s bodies are designed to do, except when they don’t. These remarks then leave mothers to feel as though they have failed because of not having a natural birth. I have seen and heard so many women being very much against medicalised births especially caesarean births, that they often forget these types are births are the only way mothers can have a healthy live baby.  The natural side of birth is when you get to take your baby home after it.

 

Birth

In my head, I was determined to have a normal birth. I needed to know I could have this magical experience of labour and delivery with my first baby. My pregnancy ended in me having pre-eclampsia, dangerously high blood pressure and an induction. Which then became a “failure to progress”, 40 hours after the first pessary I had my first emergency caesarean. Our new baby was taken straight to special care due to her weight and temperature. I was in pain. Being wheeled back and forward, even having a day of bed rest; not being able to see or pick up my baby when I wanted was not how I imagined becoming a mother.

But she came home, my pain eventually left and she is growing into a fine young lady.

 

Embarrassed

There were times when I felt embarrassed by the fact I hadn’t had the more natural way of having a baby, repeatedly told I chosen the “easy way out”. I hadn’t chosen, and it certainly wasn’t easy. Well, actually I guess it was an “easy option” not because I hadn’t pushed a baby into the world; but having the choice between causing her more distress and hurting her and getting her out the safest possible way, then yes having a caesarean at that time was the easy option. It used to feel like such a taboo to have this way of birth. I sometimes felt embarrassed to have had the operation.

 

The Next Baby

I fell pregnant again with my second baby, for a short while I thought and discussed trying a vaginal birth. I went back and forth a couple of times, but the closer I got to the dates with SPD becoming difficult to manage it was advised due to the “failure to progress” in my first labour a caesarean would be the better option. It turned out to be the very best option; we’re still unsure of what exactly happened, but there was an urgent need for a paediatrician team to arrive to help him. But he was born safe, he got to go home.

 

Natural Sadness

There was a relatively big gap between baby number two and number three. I really felt like I needed to have that magical birthing moment, desperate for this chance I requested and it was agreed that I could attempt this birth I had always wanted. I felt like I needed to prove to myself that I am a proper woman, a real mother. When I became desperately ill just over halfway through my pregnancy it was then I would have that chance once again taken from me. I even asked if I could still try; I was looked at as if I had lost my mind, I probably had. My devastation was short lived because I knew when this 1lb 5oz baby was born squeaking that going down the easy route once again was absolutely the very best option.

 

No Choice

Of course, I went on to have caesarean four and five. I think losing baby number three after a month old; put so much into perspective for me. Having other birth options weren’t even in my thoughts; I, of course knew there were no other options anyway. All I knew was I wanted to be able to keep my new babies. I no longer felt sad, disappointed or embarrassed; there was no feeling of grief about not having the perfect birth. My perfect births gave me all of my babies.

 

 

Magical Failures

We’re not failures, mothers who have to have intervention, whether it is an extra cut, or the top pain relief right down to a caesarean section. These routes are still seen as failures, as mothers being belittled by these delivery methods; some kind of snobbery maybe.  These caesarean scars were the first ever windows our babies could see their new worlds. They are the mark of birth, the mark which for me made me a mother. I may not be able to see my scar very well now, but they connect all my children, to me and to each other, my favourite natural tattoo.

 

Choices

In our modern medicine, it is wonderful that there are these choices, and that now there is better choices, for even elective. But no matter how a baby is born, one thing is to never judge or belittle how it came into the world, as long as they make it into our world. No taboo, no embarrassment. Just beautiful new babies.

cheerful

My Cheerful List # 31. Birthday Celebration

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 31

 

Week Two of the Easter Holidays, we still didn’t end up doing a lot. I wish the weather would pick up even a bout of blue skies, enough to dry washing on more than just the one day. It seems to be taking forever for it to arrive. We were still dealing with the aftermath of Chicken Pox from the previous week; I am relieved that it was done quickly. I just hope our youngest will be okay.

 

Birthday Treat

I took my eldest out shopping for a few hours, let her go and pick some clothes. She’s not the easiest to buy clothes for. She really enjoyed herself, and managed a decent Primark haul. It was of course, an early birthday treat; so she also had lunch too.

 

Meeting with friends

The five year old met up with her friend along with my older two and myself; we decided on swimming for a couple of hours. I can’t swim, but don’t mind the water. I was hoping it was going to help with my body pains, having a flare up of arthritis at the moment, it isn’t very comfortable. But I’ll be okay.

 

Breakfast Morning

It was the majorette fundraising big breakfast this week, it was quiet but it was fun as always. They’re a good bunch to be around. I met a woman who is also going to help complete a project I am putting together with Little Daffodils. I have wanted to do this for over a year now, but wanted this last item – because I can’t crochet! I am excited!

 

Birthday Party

We celebrated my eldest daughter’s birthday by having a joint disco. She had an amazing time with her friends, so lovely to see her having such a great time. In fact all her siblings had a wonderful time; the two year old didn’t stop!

Thirteenth Birthday

This brings me to her 13th birthday. I cannot believe I have a teenager – although judging by some of her strops you’d think she was already one. Born a tiny 4lb 8oz, hard to think at just 13 she is now taller than me, and laughs at the fact! She was incredibly spoilt, and deserves to be too. I am so glad she is growing, but my gosh it is scary how quickly it all goes.

 

Majorette Competition

The children had their first competition of the season today (a great way to celebrate a 13th birthday). They had a brilliant day, with the troupe taking home 10 trophies including my son who brought home best mascot medal. I am so incredibly proud of them all. Our five year old even competed in both of her sections too, last year she only did half of the competitions, the year before she did a couple; I am hoping she will continue as she loves it so much.

 

Other things

My anxiety levels have taken a little tumble this past week, as well as having a pain flare-up. I haven’t really cried or really struggle with Melody’s anniversary this year, but it has beaten me a little. We’re finding out so many things that were missed surrounding her death and after, it is incredibly difficult to process anything about it.  I’m worried for my husband and his legs. I like to keep busy, so busy that I can’t think too much about these things, and then when it gets quiet I do – then the flood gates open, makes me feel silly. This happened at the competition, I was grateful to have a shoulder to cry on. I am okay now. It’ll all pass.

birthday celebrations

fan fiction guest post

Flash Fiction. A Guest Post

So, I took a few weeks off of the flash fiction series. It is something I have personally missed doing. And will aim to continue this part of my blog. This week, however, my husband would like to include a piece of his own; so I have opened up this week’s slot to him. Here it is – I hope you enjoy…

ARROW

“Intimidation Game”

Prologue

 

“Wake up.”

Oliver Queen groaned as consciousness forced its way into his head.

Everything hurt, but it had lessened since the last time his eyes were half-open.  Panic seized him when he opened his eyes, and all he saw was blackness.  Was he blind?  He hadn’t been hit in the face that badly, had he?

He could smell wet stone and damp metal.

There was a cool breeze on his face.

More panic.

His mask was gone, his hood tucked under the back of his head.

He wasn’t restrained, and he didn’t feel any of the usual after effects of drugs, at least none he had personally experienced.  When he finally moved, he felt everything hurt at once.  He struggled to right himself.

He could hear something in the distance, some small animal squeaking that echoed around the space he was in.  Where was it coming from?  Why couldn’t he pinpoint the noise?  He was sure it wasn’t the only one, judging by the answering calls.

He spun on the comfortable bed, and his boots touched a metal floor.

Oliver stood, trying to make sense of what he was seeing.

It was a cave, he was sure of that now, the rock hanging over like an archway far above.  He could see several big metal platforms jutting out from the cave wall, supported on massive heavy beams and thick industrial cables.  The very top one seemed to have a craft sat on it, idling, but the lights were dim.

Hadn’t he seen that thing flying before?

One of them, with two large rectangular tunnels cut into the rock, had an armoured car sat on it, low and threatening like a tank crossed with a Lamborghini –black, of course.  He saw at least two others festooned with darkened glass cabinets and hidden suits inside, mirroring his own headquarters.  But this place was something else entirely, far beyond the basement of Verdant.

The bed he had been lying on was one of two, each with medical equipment waiting on standby nearby.  Stairs led up and around to another platform, where a bright glow radiated out from something he couldn’t see.

On the stairs, he found his compound bow and arrows untouched, but he was sure he would not be able to use them.  He swallowed as he ascended the stairs, his heartbeat rising.

What was this place?

It looked like a full military operation.

“Oliver Queen,” a dark gravelly voice said from the shadows.  “Green Arrow.”

It echoed around the cave.

He squinted to see past the glow.

A massive bank of flat-screens joined together to form a computer display Felicity would kill to get her hands on.  A single high-backed chair sat in front of it all, but there didn’t seem to be anyone in it.

“Who are you?” he asked, his own voice bouncing off the walls.

That animal squeak again, this time answered by hundreds more.

He looked up into the darkness of the roof of the cave, and saw the creatures.

Bats.

Hundreds of them.

He flinched, startled when he saw a shadow detach itself from the darkness.  It made no noise, no sound whatsoever, but it continued moving, further and further towards the light of the big screen.

Oliver braced himself, cursing himself for being so stupid as to be frightened.

This man was a master, though.

That much was obvious.

As he stepped into the glow, the legends became fact.

He wore grey body armour that covered his legs arms and torso, a pointy-eared cowl of black covered most of his face, and a long cape flowed over his shoulders to kiss the metal floor.

It was him.

The vigilante that criminals ran screaming in fear from.

The papers –not that any had a picture of him- called him the Caped Crusader.

The Dark Knight.

Oliver shivered as the name slipped from his lips.

“Batman.”

 

Check out his weight-loss blog here.

march favourites

March Favourites

The third month of the year gone; it does seem to be flying by. This time of the year is always unpredictable with emotions. My mental health kind of fluctuates, I am very grateful to have my husband and children around.

 

Weather

Snow! And lots of it…twice. We haven’t had it here for many, many years; in fact it is the first time our now five year old (and two year old) have seen the white stuff. I can say they weren’t massively impressed, not as fun as what Elsa made out! The first lot of snow was mixed with an incredibly hard frost, even the cats couldn’t make food prints in it…mind you; they hated it too.

After a couple of weeks thinking that maybe that was our fair share, the snow returned. The second time, although predicated it was a shock! We have had so many snow warnings over the years; it is hard to know what to believe! It does look incredibly beautiful, but it is an inconvenience!

 

World Book Day

It was postponed from its original date due to a snow day. But it was Harry Potter themed in this house. My son went as Draco Malfoy (or mouthboy, as my daughter calls him). And our five year old went as Hermione, but we kind of cheated and went with her Deathly Hallows outfit – checked shirt and jeans, she was a heroine throughout.

 

Mother’s Day

Always bittersweet, not only minus one; but that I don’t have the greatest of relationships with my own Mum. My husband always knows how to spoil me for the children and his way to spoil me too. We took a visit to Primark in Bristol – it is huge! And met his Mum for lunch in Zaa Zaa Bazaar – and all you can eat restaurant, which has a huge range of foods from around the world. Perfect if you want to try something, but don’t want to purchase a whole meal.

 

Birthday Celebrations

One of our little girls turned five. I honestly do not know where the years go. It was her first one as a school girl, so spent the day at school with her friends. She was the only one to have a birthday that day; she was super excited about not having to share her day with anyone else. Snow was lingering for her birthday party; we weren’t sure whether it would go ahead. Thankfully it began with a light flurry and was able to continue. She, along with her friends had a wonderful time. For the first time we had the venue cater for the party, it cost a little bit extra, but it was so worth it – reduced the stress completely.

I cannot believe our little girl is five.

 

New Friendship

I was nervous about the new school run, and selfishly for me, I was worried I wouldn’t make any new friends. Well it would seem that I didn’t have to worry – as I have made some really lovely new friendships since our five year old started school. Some of us Mums went out for dinner and drinks, which was lovely; and we have made some lovely memories during the snow days. I can’t wait to make plans for the nicer weather; I am pretty sure BBQs and long evenings are in top of the list.

 

London Baby

One day I commented on a Facebook post, and shared a little bit of our daughter two weeks later we were travelling to London; a Hotel stay an interview and just the most amazing time. We ended up taking the two youngest due to snow days, they struggled with the travel a little but they really were so good. Our five year old love the whole thing, the hotel stay, watching Mummy and then Mummy and Daddy be interviewed on the TV screens.

I don’t really want to say too much, but it is hopefully going to be a step forward in changing the way people including health care professionals treat families who have lost a baby who has lived; because sadly it is very different to how others are treated. It will apparently be their biggest campaign; I am really proud that my husband and I will be a part of this.

 

Majorettes

Competition season has begun for my children’s hobby. We have already hosted a competition and waiting the next one which is on the 8th April. They’re all very excited.

 

March Weight Loss

Well, it wasn’t as good as I know it could have been, just over one pound lost – a little disappointed but there isn’t anyone else to blame apart from me. A loss is a loss at the end of the day; I just need to do better! I am still being a vegetarian and haven’t really tried anything new this month; we did have macaroni cheese for the first time in years. It was delicious.

 

Blog Posts

I haven’t really done a lot on this blog over the past month, I am trying desperately to tidy both this one and Melody and Me up to look a lot more presentable – I maybe spent a little too long than anticipated on this – procrastination at its finest! So this would be the best written post by me in March.

Decode

 

Photography

Here are some of my “human-free” photos which I took during March, if only it was more Spring focused, they’re more winter themed than Spring!

 

scenery

 

the red head diaries

Rainy Day Activity Ideas

There’s nothing quite like a bout of a contagious disease to stop all plans for days out or things away from the home. Or days and days on end of wet and miserable weather; where every soft play is packed or too expensive for all your children.

Our Easter Break has been hit with awful weather and a round of Chicken Pox. Neither has been welcomed with open arms. She has been in relatively good spirits, spiked temperatures but still continued to smile. We don’t agree with taking them in busy public places whilst having something like Chicken Pox; so we have had a good few days spent at home as a family.

With the recent snow, and terrible weather we have all the time; we have gotten used to just spending time at home doing other activities.

Here are some of our rainy day favourites.

 

DVD Days

We have a huge selection, especially children’s ones. We don’t have a TV license.  I won’t go into the ins and outs of that right now – but we just don’t watch “normal” television; we’re okay with this.

These are some of the films which our children are loving right now (we go in circles of favourites, do you?)

Zootropolis

Paddington Bear 2

Ballerina

The Nightmare before Christmas (We also have had Arthur Christmas on the 1st day of Spring!)

Trolls

Hotel Transylvania – 1 and 2

Cars Trilogy

Beauty and the Beast

Pete’s Dragon

 

Edible Art

So not much in the way of art; but rainy days wouldn’t be the same if there wasn’t some kind of cake making exercise.

Rice Krispie and Corn Flake chocolate treats. They always love these simple things, even the two year old can have a go, and mostly it is just an adult supervisory role; they can do most themselves. We often do this after the main Easter event, as it is an easy way to get rid of any uneaten Easter eggs. As parents we only buy 1-2 for them each, so any extra which don’t get eaten gets melted and turned to cakes or decoration! Nothing wasted.

 

Crafting and Construction

Lego is a firm favourite in our house for both adults and the children. We have lots of the sets that are readily available, but also my husband still has a large selection of Lego from his own childhood. Funnily enough it is quite a relaxing activity.

Drawing and colouring in books are another new activity which the five year old has fallen in love with, she received a few for her birthday and will regularly sit quietly and just colour in.

 

Role Play and Make Believe

Sylvanian families, Thomas the Tank Engine, toy kitchen and dolls prams are a massive hit and a great way to keep them occupied on these “cabin fever” days. They’re incredibly good at making stories with their little characters and would play for hours; I find it fascinating to watch as their stories and voices unfold.

 

Board Games

The traditional form or time passing, we still love.

My daughter was given a Friends Trivia Card game which is currently her favourite (as is the TV series box set).

Monopoly Empire – It is a fairly easy and quite short in comparison to the more traditional Monopoly games.

Card Games. “Pooh Head.” Is a bit of a favourite, not sure on the official name of this game!

 

Technology

When all else fails, and they’re all board gamed, and DVD worn out there is always the option of the Xbox or Kindle. Although for us it is the older two who play these more than the younger ones, the five year old has a “hand-me-down” one but plays it probably every six months; she isn’t interested. The two year old – she’s too young.

 

 

We are all very much looking forward to having no more bugs, and warmer weather.

But even if it continues to rain, and all the Pox has disappeared – there’s always muddy puddles!!

rainy day activities

The Red Head diaries

International Children’s Book Day

 

We have only recently had World Book Day, a fantastic day of awareness to get people to read more and talk more about the books we love.

Today however, is International Children’s Book Day – it is inspired by Children’s author Hans Christian Anderson. If you didn’t know his tales, to name a few includes; The Snow Queen, The Little Mermaid and The Ugly Duckling.

Today is about inspiring children to read, inspiring children’s authors to write; to find that love for reading from an early age.

 

Reading Memories

It was one of the few childhood memories I can remember; reading to my Dad and him reading to me. Visiting our local library, it used to be a stand-alone building full of books. The smell and the excitement of picking a new book to borrow always felt so magical.

I must admit we don’t visit the library as much as we should but we do buy books often, the children seem to love that too.

 

My Favourite Childhood Books

Some of the books I loved as a child were Treasure Island, The Hodgeheg, The Ugly Duckling and Alice in Wonderland. Alice is still one of my all-time favourites. There are so many characters, lots of adventure – so different.

 

Reading

It is such an important thing to learn from a young age. Reading can take you places, teach you things. Even if reading doesn’t teach you new things it can teach you more, from different angles. Books are magical.

They have a way of helping to heal, to give a form of therapy, to aid you to get lost in a world when your own life feels difficult. It certainly is one of the best gifts you could give a child.

 

My Children’s Favourite Books

I’ve four children, all love books in some form; we do our best to help our two year old fall in love with books too. Gruffalo has been a firm favourite for many, many years. The older two love the Harry Potter series; along with David Walliams collection of books too. We have done our best in trying to introduce some of the older authors like Ronald Dahl and Terry Pratchett. It’s important to also let them love the books which are also films, like Hans Christian Anderson’s Little Mermaid. Finding an imagination is wonderful.

international children's day

Writing

If you don’t already know, but I also love fiction writing and have a couple of books for a children’s series which are almost in their first draft form. The first two are set in local areas to where I live; one is history coming alive and another is a local attraction which brings more than the usual summery adventure. There are several more with the same characters, but these adventures waits a little longer.

I am nervous as always about these, my fiction I have shared already seemed to have been really popular; so I hope these will too.

 

International Children’s Book Day

Today, maybe introduce your child to a book they have never read or heard of. Have a day of reading, talk about the books you love. Get lost in adventure; celebrate this amazing author’s birthday. Discover something new, and old!

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #30 Easter Holidays Week One.

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 30.

 

It doesn’t seem possible that I have reached week 30 of these weekly cheerful posts.

Unfortunately it hasn’t been an exciting week to celebrate a big number. But it has been okay.

 

Chicken Pox

We had been looking forward to Easter break for ages; two days in and the spots arrive a couple to begin with, which made us unsure of whether it would be the dreaded pox. But the next day more appeared, even more – it was very obvious that it had arrived. One child left to catch it. She has been in very good spirits, only suffering when her temperature spiked and she itched a little.

I am one of those parents who would have vaccinated had we had the money. Childhood illnesses are so unpredictable per child; they always worry me. I’m just relieved she’s been okay, just hope the youngest one will be too.

 

April fool’s Day

This week has been the inevitable lead up to the anniversary of our daughter’s death. I have done my upmost best to keep as buy as I could. I can’t stop and think; I can no longer stop and think about the unimaginable – because it isn’t the unimaginable to us. Anyway I can’t drown here; there is a post here which went live this morning. I can’t fall apart.

 

Time Together.

Being unable to leave the house, we have had time at home. The children have done things together, cake making, film watching. Just being together has been lovely. My son had a hospital appointment; we’ve to wait on allergy testing before ENT will decide on the next step for his enlarged adenoids.

 

Room Decorating

We finally have started the decorating process in the girls’ bedroom. The walls themselves are now a magnolia colour, but will finish with a theme that all the girls will love – I will let you know how that goes.

 

Easter

Of course, this year Easter has fallen on Melody’s anniversary, it is usually quite close to her anniversary anyway, that and the anniversary of my Dad’s passing, and most importantly my eldest daughter’s birthday Easter is usually the last thing on my mind.

They’ve all had chocolate, an Easter Egg hunt in the house and a new DVD – Paddington Bear 2. It had been peaceful.

Easter Holidays

Hope you have had a reasonable week.

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #29

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 29

 

I have had an incredible week, involving so many emotions. Completely up, down and inspired.

One thing I do know I need to be free of worrying about what others think of me, I want to be free of caring about people who have little or no thought towards me. Because I know if I don’t, it WILL destroy me. Time and time again, I let these things ruin the best things for me. I shouldn’t.

There isn’t a particular ‘thing’ for this, so please don’t guess. I’ve heard it is an anxiety thing – overthinking; maybe that is what it is, but this overthinking will make me sick. It will eat me up and break me. I walked out of a hospital leaving my dead daughter behind; I carried on breathing. I can’t let anxiety or overthinking destroy me.

This week I wanted to give up the one thing I have been able to do for said daughter and that is to care for people, to look after people in their darkest of hours. But I can’t do that, I don’t bloody want to give it up either. I need to hold on and paint my own rainbow, and be the colour my brain needs to focus on; I am sick of looking through the grey. For a moment I felt lonely and worthless. I am not meant to feel this way.

“Don’t you dare give up. If I’m not allowed to you’re definitely not.”

Is part of one message I received, from one of the most inspirational people I know. I will not go any further. But this person has given me the kick I need to keep my head up, to keep breathing – to not drown. While someone else with the swear words, but meant the very same. I think have found my people.

I know it is a difficult time of year, and it does feel like I am wading through treacle sometimes; that is allowed. I can’t let life break me.

I am alive.

I can do anything but I can’t do everything.

London Baby

The week began with more snow and a trip to London. We didn’t know if it was going to go ahead because of the weather. But the charity who wanted to interview me was insistent I go; so they offered to move the interview time, and pay for a hotel. We ended up taking the younger two; one had a snow day, of course, the youngest was at home anyway. It really was the most amazing experience. There were a proper film crew and staging. The girls and my husband were able to watch while I was interviewed; then my husband was able to be interviewed too – I can’t wait to share what we have been up to.

I have never been to London before, we didn’t explore or stay long – but I am definitely a country girl!

 

Majorette Competition

The competition season has begun. First one was today, our troupe hosted; in two weeks time they will be competing, and my eldest daughter will turn 13!! Crazy. We did have an eventful start, with the fire alarms going off, and a visit from the fire brigade – early on a Sunday morning and the clocks moved forward too – brilliant. They did get a free bacon butty for their troubles. Very memorable.

 

Have a good week. This time next week is her anniversary, so we’ll see.