There is currently a hashtag knocking around celebrating Midwives; with this a well-known company is donating per every hashtag. #thankyoumidwife.
Right from my second pregnancy (my very first ended in miscarriage); it became apparent that I simply do not ‘do’ pregnancy well. The one thing which my body is built to do; just doesn’t do it comfortably. There was certainly never any blooming going on! Hyperemesis and high risk pregnancies to name a couple…
When I was pregnant with my first two I had a wonderful Midwife – S. She had to have been one of the nicest health care professionals, and that she was perfect as a midwife for any first time Mum. S was always patient with me, with my questions with the numerous of times I had to spend the evening at the hospital because I had Pre-Eclampsia symptoms; she always wanted to play it safe. Until a little over 36 weeks, where I ended up being sent over; that time I was induced, eventually having my first child at 37 weeks. I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with her postpartum, as baby was in special care for the first week. But I was pleased to have had her for my midwife.
She even came to my first wedding!
Just over two years later I was expecting baby number two; sickness arrived so did S; once again she was amazing; slightly easier pregnancy. Once he was born she would come out at 9pm to help with my Clexane (we were too squeamish at that time – wait to see); waited with me whilst we waited for a GP as I had a suspected blood clot. Fortunately it wasn’t.
S was brilliant, and many still speak of her now – she is lovely.
When I remarried and fell for baby number 3. S was no longer a midwife for the community, a health visitor instead (another perfect role for her). I met B; she was my midwife for this baby
Baby number 3; in my head I had everything planned; I had asked to have a vaginal birth after two caesarean sections; the consultant had agreed. Everything was set – in my head. I had bleeds on and off, I was suffering with Hyperemesis again, ante-natal depression, SPD. So some reason I felt incredibly anxious for this pregnancy.
About 22 weeks I was showing signs of Pre-eclampsia; B sent off bloods, they came back clear. Ten days later symptoms were arriving stronger; my fingers swelled to near splitting; I took myself into see a midwife – not mine. It wasn’t the nicest of experiences – I will leave it there. Twelve days later at 26+6 our daughter was born.
Flashing forward to five week where she died; we left the hospital lost and confused. B came to visit; she was one of the very few health care professionals who came to see us. She went out and collected a prescription which stops milk production; that meant a great deal. B even came to the funeral; or at least the end of it. She didn’t have to but she did.
We fell pregnant a couple of months later; B was my midwife again – was relieved it was her. She was the ONE person to put in some support for us professionally. Charities and other places were turning their backs because our baby was too old; but B put us in touch with CRUSE; I am so grateful to her; because she didn’t have to; this was a different pregnancy; she didn’t have to help us deal with the poor outcome of our previous one. But she did. The pregnancy was difficult; weekly appointments, scans; visits to the hospital; plus Hyperemesis; but B remained calm and supportive; she became my advocate.
She helped us bring our next baby home. This baby was going to be our final one.
Then I fell pregnant with my 5th and final baby; where the hyperemesis, made me seriously ill. I could barely lift my head from the pillow, being upright only made me sick. B was once again my midwife, where she did home visits every week because I couldn’t cope with going to clinic, even a slightly wrong smell made me sick; she did everything within her power to make it easier on me. It was an incredibly difficult pregnancy; one which made my sterilisation decision easier! But again she went out of her way to help me bring this baby home too. She ensured I had the top consultant for the level of care I needed too. Helped to get my Clexane prescribed too, as I was immobile through the vomiting (I had the injecting down to a tee – 10weeks until 6 weeks post ought to do it!)
These midwives do not get enough recognition; or thanks.
I will admit I have met some horrors who will stay a part of my pregnancy journey for the wrong reasons; it is a wonder why they do their job.
But I am here to give thanks to S and B for helping me bring my babies home.
Melly died, she never came home – yet B STILL wanted to help, when no-one else did.
S ended up being my health visitor, as we had a specialised one – She is worth her weight in gold! Losing a baby who was not a miscarriage or stillbirth, has been an incredibly lonely place; it is awful but this woman for the first two years, because they are the worst did nothing but show empathy, listened and didn’t push. I wish more were like her.
Thank you S and B – so much. We’re so grateful.
I am sorry I was such a difficult lady!!!