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My Cheerful List #34

We have reached week 34. I have found this week to have flown by, with not a lot that has happened. We have slipped nicely back into routines from the holidays, which seem like such a lifetime ago.

I have struggled a lot this week, with events in the media; I am okay it just felt a little heavier than I anticipated. It is nice to have an understanding friend whom I have been able to be very open with my thoughts without being judged. It is very difficult to find the right support for these occasions, the organisations who set out to support aren’t always there, meaning having friends who really understand is priceless.

I have been poorly this week too, the arthritis has not been my friend, and tonsils have also pained me. Making me very drowsy on Saturday, leaving my only day off this weekend being asleep! Not impressed.

 

Midweek Outing

Went out with a friend again and her children to soft play, and lunch. I hope the weather changes for the better soon; there is only so much soft play we can endure. Although this particular one was very quiet, with only a couple other children there, makes the experience a lot nicer.

 

Keeping Fit

The previous week we began a regular walking evening, this week was no different. We took a different route; where I became the entertainment, getting both of my trainers stuck in the mud! I must admit it was hilarious, but I think we need to save those lanes for a dry spell!! I have the bug to try and lose this blasted weight! This week I have lost 4lb 9oz! I am very pleased with that effort; I hope to repeat the same next week.

 

Majorette Display

My Cheerful week is concluded with two of my majorette children displaying at a local Volkswagen festival. It was a little wet under foot, but they all seemed to really enjoy themselves. They’re such a lovely team.

 

They forecast snow and wintery weather for the coming week, let’s hope it is all lies….It’ll be May!!

cheerful

My Cheerful List #32 Finding Friendship

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 32

Summer Term

First week back from the Easter Break, we have done virtually nothing. It has been nice to be back to a routine, but it has only just made me regret not doing a lot over the Easter break – of course the chicken pox put a stop to doing a great deal, but by not doing something always gives me some kind of “mummy guilt.” It has been lovely being back to work, as always it feels like I’ve never been away.

 

Midweek Plans

This week, although still very damp underfoot the rain held off enough to take a walk around one of our local National Trust properties. I love having a membership, especially during the nicer weather; the children love visiting them too. I really hope the warmer weather will be here soon.

 

Charity Things

We have received the videos to the interview we had last month; I feel incredibly proud to be a part of something so amazing. I find it strange to know that I did have a small part on this, when I really don’t have the confidence or self-esteem to do these sorts of things. I have also almost completed the first stage of a little package I have wanted to put together for a while, but I don’t know why – same with writing my novels – but I get so far, then fear kicks on and then I stop moving forward. I just pause anything I am doing; then regret it!

I don’t know why I do this, I need to stop letting fear waste my time, especially when I see others with similar ideas! Anyway I am hoping that the first little project will be up and running by the end of May, June at the latest.

 

Saturday Fun

My five year old had a birthday party; she was able to spend time with some of her closest friends. I asked her if she has a best friend; she replied “no”. For a second I felt a little bit of sadness, when she continued and said “they’re all my best friends, mummy.” I think finding friendships is always a big worry when you’re a parent; I do worry for her sometimes when she isn’t always part for the crowd. But I do think she has found her tribe.

I am glad; while she has found hers… four of us left our daughters to party while we had our own little party.

I say party, what I mean is child-free lunch. Where we could chat, drink AND eat; without stopping 25,000 times. I, too think I may have found mine.

 

Have a lovely week – I hear it is going to be a warm one!

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #29

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 29

 

I have had an incredible week, involving so many emotions. Completely up, down and inspired.

One thing I do know I need to be free of worrying about what others think of me, I want to be free of caring about people who have little or no thought towards me. Because I know if I don’t, it WILL destroy me. Time and time again, I let these things ruin the best things for me. I shouldn’t.

There isn’t a particular ‘thing’ for this, so please don’t guess. I’ve heard it is an anxiety thing – overthinking; maybe that is what it is, but this overthinking will make me sick. It will eat me up and break me. I walked out of a hospital leaving my dead daughter behind; I carried on breathing. I can’t let anxiety or overthinking destroy me.

This week I wanted to give up the one thing I have been able to do for said daughter and that is to care for people, to look after people in their darkest of hours. But I can’t do that, I don’t bloody want to give it up either. I need to hold on and paint my own rainbow, and be the colour my brain needs to focus on; I am sick of looking through the grey. For a moment I felt lonely and worthless. I am not meant to feel this way.

“Don’t you dare give up. If I’m not allowed to you’re definitely not.”

Is part of one message I received, from one of the most inspirational people I know. I will not go any further. But this person has given me the kick I need to keep my head up, to keep breathing – to not drown. While someone else with the swear words, but meant the very same. I think have found my people.

I know it is a difficult time of year, and it does feel like I am wading through treacle sometimes; that is allowed. I can’t let life break me.

I am alive.

I can do anything but I can’t do everything.

London Baby

The week began with more snow and a trip to London. We didn’t know if it was going to go ahead because of the weather. But the charity who wanted to interview me was insistent I go; so they offered to move the interview time, and pay for a hotel. We ended up taking the younger two; one had a snow day, of course, the youngest was at home anyway. It really was the most amazing experience. There were a proper film crew and staging. The girls and my husband were able to watch while I was interviewed; then my husband was able to be interviewed too – I can’t wait to share what we have been up to.

I have never been to London before, we didn’t explore or stay long – but I am definitely a country girl!

 

Majorette Competition

The competition season has begun. First one was today, our troupe hosted; in two weeks time they will be competing, and my eldest daughter will turn 13!! Crazy. We did have an eventful start, with the fire alarms going off, and a visit from the fire brigade – early on a Sunday morning and the clocks moved forward too – brilliant. They did get a free bacon butty for their troubles. Very memorable.

 

Have a good week. This time next week is her anniversary, so we’ll see.

 

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #28 Birthday

 

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 28

 

Wednesday Treat

This week we paid a visit to a small soft play area the little ones love, in a town close by – Shakees. We’ve visited for a few years now, perfect for very small people.

 

Mum’s Night Out

I went out with a group of new Mum friends this week; I even had an alcoholic drink! Am not a big alcohol drinker these days. It was really lovely to get out, have dinner and a giggle. We’re all very keen to do it again; very soon.

 

Friendship

I do find it hard to find and keep friendship; and question myself on a regular basis, about why I feel so socially awkward. I try really hard. It is such a nice feeling to be building a village of friends, who have children who love each other and as parents we can all make friends too. I was really worried about baby number four starting school; whether I would make friends or fit in. So far, it would seem my worries may have been not needed. I look forward to making lots of memories!

 

A Fifth Birthday

We celebrated one of our girls’ 5th birthday this week, she has been very excited this week. She had to go to school for her actual birthday, but she still had such a lovely time. We were terrified about her birth five years ago. We had fallen pregnant not long after the death of our daughter, leaving 13 months between their births. Here is her birth story. I can’t believe she is five!

She also had a party with her lovely friends from school, they seemed to have had the loveliest of times, and she certainly did and was very spoiled.

 

Snow

Well, as I write this we have a duvet of snow outside; we’ve only just recovered from the last lot. It is not what we want with our plans for the week ahead.

We did go out and play in it for a short while this morning, I think the adults had more fun, as the little ones, cried very loud tears until we returned home.

Here’s hoping for a glorious Summer now! This is what it was like six years ago

Have a lovely week, see you next week.

 

 

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #23

 

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. A chance to share with you something which has made me cheerful during the week, whether it be large or small, it is important to find something good even when it feels impossible. Thank you for joining me! We have reached week 22!

 

Support Group

Just under two years ago, I took the plunge and set up a face to face support group for pregnancy and infant loss; it has been a slow start, and at times I wondered what I was doing. But more recently people have been coming and I am really proud of what it is achieving. In a selfish point of view has made me feel less alone. I am so pleased I didn’t give it up. I have so much more I want to do, but it really is a case of one very slow step at a time; with a hint of frustration of not getting the things I want to get done quicker! Overactive mind I guess. Any, I am so proud of this little group.

 

Mumble

This month’s group I invited a local businesswoman, she does embroidery amongst other things. I asked her for a very special bear; one with our daughter’s name on. They’re so amazing; we will get one each for them all. They are incredibly soft too. Yes, we are very happy with our new special bear.

Mumble Memory Bear

 

Grants

The group – Little Daffodils I run was included in our local carnival grants, so I had to go and collect the cheque along with a cheque for the majorettes with some of the committee team. I hate public speaking, I get all shaky and stutter – it seems to NEVER get easier!! We did have a lovely time, and turned it into a bit of a social gathering too.

Fundraising

It was the majorette bingo this week, as always a lot of fun. We had a good team and my daughter even won some Quality Street sweets which she was super excited about.

 

Mum’s Cheerful Day Out

Every couple of months my friend and I go and spend a few hours together without the children. We went to a New to You Sale; we then went for a light lunch. It was just lovely, dare I say it a little too peaceful! I managed to get my almost 5 year old a bag full of dresses and my son an outfit for just under £20. Nothing wrong with them, just preloved, she certainly loves them.

 

What a better week, looking forward to the half term break now, will see what it’ll bring.

My Cheerful List #20

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. A chance to share with you something which has made me cheerful during the week, whether it be large or small, it is important to find something good even when it feels impossible. Thank you for joining me! We have reached week 20!

The Impossible

So, I have found that first “impossible week,” where I am struggling to find something cheerful during my week. It has felt quite the opposite if I am honest. I have been absolutely exhausted this week; with no signs of it getting much better. Both my mind and my body shattered; which led to full body aches and pains; and as I write this I am currently suffering from tonsillitis; with Friday just gone being the worst affected – which made me feel guilty with it being my lovely husband’s birthday.

I know nobody enjoys being ill, but I hate it and constantly counting down to when I should be better again; then it frustrates me when I don’t.

 

Work

I have done extra shifts this week, and have repeated volunteering at the school too; which is lovely. I have now been given a regular set of children I get to work with. I am trying to get used to them all calling out “Mrs S…” when I arrive. It is amazing!

 

Nurses Appointment

I had an appointment with the nurse this week; not one for visiting the doctors or surgery; I try to avoid if I can help it. But I had a long overdue smear test appointment; I knew I needed to get it done. I suffer from health anxiety – it is horrible, it puts me on edge a lot; so it hasn’t been the procedure that has out me off, it is the outcome. Obviously, I now have that wait for the results; I just have to hope that they are okay.

I walked in; she asked why I hadn’t been in for a while for my smear, then I began to cry. Everything came pouring out from the health anxiety, how it stems from losing M. She listened – for the first time in a long time, I actually felt like my words were being heard. She explained how what I am going through is a form of PTSD. I need to try and take care of myself. There were some other things said, which my husband and I need to talk over, it just felt nice to be spoken to and listened to in a sensitive manner, having lost all faith in the support system. It felt comforting.

 

Cheerful

As I said above it hasn’t been an overly cheerful week; but I am incredibly lucky to have my family, they somehow always find a way to make me feel cheerful. My son enjoyed his new scooter – a belated birthday present. The husband seemed to enjoy his birthday presents too.

My eldest daughter had a parents evening this week; it was very positive. She has chosen her G.C.S.E subjects; which he will begin in September.

So, even when the week has mostly been rubbish. I have managed to find something cheerful this week.

 

I have some posts which went live this week here they are in case you missed them.

Working Mum and Stay At Home Mum

Flash Fiction Friday –This one I had an amazing response to; which has now given me some ideas.

 

And I revived from Melody and Me as it appeared on my Time Hop

What Day Would You Want To Live Again?

Have a good week.

My Cheerful List #19

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. A chance to share with you something which has made me cheerful during the week, whether it be large or small, it is important to find something good even when it feels impossible. Thank you for joining me! We have reached week 19.

 

New Term

The children returned to school this week; I always feel a little hint of sadness when they return; due to missing them. They drive me nuts a lot of the time but love it when they are all home. I guess I do cheat a little by seeing them whilst I work.

 

Back To Work

I love my job, working with children is something I never imagined myself doing, yet I am going into my 3rd year of working there. It is lovely for the social/adult interaction too; which I think we can all benefit from time to time – providing they’re your right kind of people! I began doing volunteering this week; going in to help the children read. It was amazing, such a privilege to be working with them.

 

Baby Red

It has been lovely to have some one to ones with the littlest this week. She is such a Mummy’s girl, and times she can be really hard work as she really only ever wants me; which brings me to one of my favourite moments of the week, where she was in the bath and I decided to join her; her face lit up. She used to love Mummy and baby baths when she was months old.

 

Bowling

bowling.

As a birthday treat for my son, we decided to take him and a friend to bowling; along with my Mother In Law. They all had an amazing time and loved every minute. With a McDonald’s for afterwards. We don’t do bowling nearly enough, Baby wasn’t overly keen, but she did enjoy watching and was well behaved.

 

A Cheerful Birthday Boy

My son turns 10 today. These years have gone so quickly; doesn’t seem long ago that he was having Mummy and baby bath times and cuddles. My only boy, he does get picked on a fair bit with so many girls in the house, but he also gets mothered by them at times too. He is such a gentleman and a sensitive little chap. I am very proud to be his Mum.

 

I managed some other posts this week.

If you fancy a read here are the links

National Kiss a Ginger Day

Fiction Friday – Ruins

 

Thank you for reading I hope you have had a good week.

 

Mrs S

xx

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List – #16. Christmas.

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. Each Sunday I share with you things that have made me cheerful during this past week. In times where life can feel overwhelming, it is nice to try and find something, even if it is one thing that has made us Cheerful. Week 16.

I am once again unsure of where this week has gone; there hasn’t been a great deal of things I have done this week. But what I have I will list.

Final Week of Term

Once again the week has gone so quick. Which is good as the term has been an incredibly long one, and quite hard on the children too. Still we’re glad it is done, and that they’re now home for a few weeks; which is the best part.

Christmas Work Do

The Dinner Ladies all went out for the evening, it was lovely; not something we do very often, but it was lovely and we’re planning on doing more. They really are a lovely bunch of women.

Christmas Crackers

Final Work Days

I know a little work related, but it was a real lovely time at work this week. The children all very excited for the coming week; but most of all was that the fundraisers for the school (“Friends of…”) had raised enough money for all the children who don’t normally have hot lunches to have them and not charge the parents. They each had a lovely Christmas Dinner, followed by Chocolate Cake and Custard. Was busy trying to feed the whole school in a short pace of time, but they really did seem to enjoy every single minute. It was lovely being a part of it.

 

Cheerful Festivities

On the final day of term a friend and I went to our local farm shop for a spot of cake; which was lovely; followed by in the evening with my eldest and different friends a spot of late night shopping. It was crazy; I am definitely relieved to have not needed a lot, I have really enjoyed shopping throughout the year and will do so again next year – it certainly made things a lot easier; although I will do the stockings earlier, as it is my least favourite thing to do; I don’t even know why!

Christmas Play

Mini and Baby were invited to have a play around Mini’s friend’s house, with other children. They both had a brilliant time, food, dress up lots of giggles and fun, neither of the wanted to leave.

 

First Gift of Christmas

Another year of visiting of a grave of a daughter we only got to know for a short while. It generally hasn’t gotten easier, especially this time of year.

grief at Christmas

Christmas Eve today, although we’re not having our Christmas Day until Boxing Day this year, so we have an extra day to wait.

I hope you all have a safe and wonderful Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you all, thank you for reading.

 

my cheerful list

My Cheerful-Christmas List #15 One week left!

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. Each Sunday I share with you things that have made me cheerful during this past week. In times where life can feel overwhelming, it is nice to try and find something, even if it is one thing that has made us Cheerful. Week fifteen.

I am once again unsure of where this week has gone; there hasn’t been a great deal of things I have done this week. But what I have I will list.

 

Mum’s Night Out

It was a Christmas evening out with Mums who have children in reception. It isn’t something I have done before; or thought I would go to that one. But I pushed any anxieties I had and just went with it. I am glad I did; I didn’t drink; but it was nice to go out with different people.

 

Nativity

Mini had her first ever nativity this week; although she didn’t want to be a traveller; she did seem to enjoy being on the stage. She looked like she enjoyed the singing. It, to me did feel incredibly bittersweet; how I should have had a nativity last year. When I went to my son’s first I was newly bereaved and pregnant with Mini. How everything changes; everything is so different, but we’re all the same too.

 

Cheerful Special Visitors

Thanks to Somerset Charity Towards Tomorrow Together the children had a visit from Father Christmas’ helpers in a form of a fairy and an elf. My older two were away for the night, but were left parcels. The younger two loved it; they had a story read for them as well as their own parcels too.

Majorette Christmas Party

End of year party for my children’s troupe. I had a wonderful time with the other girls from setting up through to dancing the night away, and packing away too. The children seemed to have had a wonderful time too; we barely saw them.

Christmas Decoration.

 

Fundraising Bingo

Our final 2017 majorette event; it was a fun evening at our annual Christmas Bingo; busy but good fun.

 

Not sleeping particularly well lately; so I do hope this week will bring better nights rest!

Hope you have a good week, that it isn’t too stressful. This time next week it will be Christmas Eve!

Thank you for reading My Cheerful List.

 

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List – Week 14

Welcome back to my Cheerful List. Each Sunday I share with you things that have made me cheerful during this past week. In times where life can feel overwhelming, it is nice to try and find something, even if it is one thing that has made us Cheerful. Week Fourteen.

The week hasn’t been overly full of things which I have done. The week has certainly gone by super-fast!

 

Christmas Night Out: Take One

Majorette Committee night out was last Sunday evening; we had a brilliant time – well as company; We didn’t go much on the place we chose to spend the evening, without mentioning the venue, we’d most likely not go again. They were very slow in service (minimal customers), and quite pricy. BUT as an outing; I cannot remember the last time I laughed as much as I did, tears and almost struggling for breath. It was lovely. We talk all the time and work together for the troupe; but we don’t really socialise a lot outside; we’re all really busy; it is wonderful when we do.

 

Carol Concert

My young man is in the school choir, this week they got to perform in our local Guildhall along with three other schools, as per normal it was brilliant; he loves every bit of performing he can. He did also have a DVD showing of a “university” project; but unfortunately bad Mama forgot! But he forgave me.  Once the concert had finished we treated the children to dinner out.

 

Christmas Preparation

This weekend I had attempted to blitz the upstairs of our house, being ruthless and donating or throwing things which we no longer use. I am looking forward to decorating in the New Year; a complete overhaul I think. Present wrapping is almost completed too.

 

Girls Day Out

Today (Sunday), a friend and I took our four and three year old out for the day; took them to do a little shopping, some lunch at McDonald’s (their choice), then the best bit – a cinema trip; we watched Paddington 2. Now I will admit; I love the books, I love the bear and even the series growing up; but wasn’t overly keen on the first Paddington. But I really, really enjoyed the second one; so did my girlie. It was lovely.

Cheerful Moments

This week the husband and I decided to perform random acts of kindness, donations to the school, candy cane bombing and a third – which I am happy to stay anonymous for; although it was lovely to watch from a distance to see it was received well. We’re going to do two more, which we can’t decide exactly what yet – but it is of course in memory of Melody. We haven’t found a gift we like for her this year; we simply couldn’t do anything for her; so we decided to do things for others instead. One for each week she was with us.

 

 

I hope your week has been kind to you. We have so far had no rain – but I can see we will be needing boats before long as the local rivers begin to burst.

Stay safe. Have a good week.