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majorette wins

My Cheerful List #35

Week 35 begins with the baby loss support group I run once a month in my local area – Little Daffodils. A remembrance candle lighting service has been arranged for October with one of the local churches. We have done one before, it was really lovely.

 

Midweek Outing

We found ourselves at Soft Play again, the weather wasn’t great, so it was another indoor outing, and the little ones like that particular one, as it is easy for them to do by themselves.

We had a quick trip to the shops and then a spot of lunch. The children always enjoy these outings, as do I!

 

Writing

I managed to get some fiction work written last week. Three pieces in two days; these have been scheduled for the weeks ahead. The Wind Walkers are this week’s instalment. I am hoping I can keep this up, as I really do love writing, I just get so tired lately that I don’t find the energy to even be awake, let alone write. I hope you enjoy it.

 

Gardening

We have managed to get some bits of the garden done this weekend. We can only do a bit at a time, due to finances, slow but hopefully it won’t take long to get it completed now. We have brambles at the end in our daughter’s memory garden, but the roots are in our neighbours’ garden, but we do need to be ruthless if we want our garden to be pretty. We also going to gravel the bedding borders, we’re not great at gardening, so can put pot plants there instead!

 

Barbecue

Having a tidier garden meant for an impromptu BBQ. We, as a family had put one on our food planner; then friends said they would be making a delivery, so they ended up joining us and another friend who I’d not seen for ages, it was lovely.

Majorette Wins

Another competition week is done, it was an incredibly hot one! But all the children seemed to have a wonderful time, and did so well! The troupe came away with nine trophies, plus medals for individual games at lunchtime, one of my daughters came away with a medal for individual marching, she came third. And she won best mascot for her Pom routine!

 

I am incredibly proud of all them for doing this hobby, my eldest daughter smiled throughout her routine, and my son really gave it his all. I can’t wait for the next lot!

 

Have a lovely week, I hope the weather holds out for a few weeks now, we’ll see.

cheerful

My Cheerful List #33 Winning!

Week 33 of My Cheerful List. I was just reading through previous weeks; and in those weeks loads of things have happened. Ups and downs, busy lives; happy and sad times. The fourth month of the year is almost done, where is the time going?

 

Sunshine

We have finally seen some lovely weather this week; it has been a very long time coming. Was working, but I did manage to get our huge pile of washing finished and dried. I don’t think it is set to last sadly though.

 

Little Outing

We’d planned to go to a local soft-play, but as the weather was amazing, and not knowing how long it would last, we took to the park instead. We met with a little boy and his mum, who will be going to school with our youngest. They played so lovely together, had lunch and just enjoyed the sunshine.

 

Back on the Wagon

So, I have taken to moving my ass back on the wagon and begun getting healthy again. Counting calories, has always been a winner for me, it is the willpower to stick to it that I find hard. I love learning about what I out in my mouth and when I am in the right frame of mind, I am more hesitant to putting crap in my mouth.

I am a comfort eater, so I do need to keep my spirits up so I can keep my weight low. As well as turning to healthier eating, I have upped the exercise regime, not as much as my husband – I am in awe of his willpower to keep going, he has done amazingly. He will admit he has had a slower week this week, but it has been a week of shit sleepers – worse than usual!

Anyway, I went out with two friends, and we walked, I think I worked out to be about 6 miles altogether. We chatted, giggled it was free! It didn’t feel like we had been walking for a couple of hours, so we’re going to go out again.

 

Winning!

Competition Day, it was a long one and we were about 2 hours away from home. But the children had such a wonderful time. It is always an adventure when we travel a little further afield; it brings smiles and certainly makes memories.

The children’s troupe took home seven trophies, and our very own red brought two of them herself by winning, best tiny tot Pom mascot, and best overall mascot. We’re all very proud of her, she is of herself too.

Looking forward to the next one.

I hope you have all had a good week.

 

winning

cheerful

My Cheerful List #32 Finding Friendship

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 32

Summer Term

First week back from the Easter Break, we have done virtually nothing. It has been nice to be back to a routine, but it has only just made me regret not doing a lot over the Easter break – of course the chicken pox put a stop to doing a great deal, but by not doing something always gives me some kind of “mummy guilt.” It has been lovely being back to work, as always it feels like I’ve never been away.

 

Midweek Plans

This week, although still very damp underfoot the rain held off enough to take a walk around one of our local National Trust properties. I love having a membership, especially during the nicer weather; the children love visiting them too. I really hope the warmer weather will be here soon.

 

Charity Things

We have received the videos to the interview we had last month; I feel incredibly proud to be a part of something so amazing. I find it strange to know that I did have a small part on this, when I really don’t have the confidence or self-esteem to do these sorts of things. I have also almost completed the first stage of a little package I have wanted to put together for a while, but I don’t know why – same with writing my novels – but I get so far, then fear kicks on and then I stop moving forward. I just pause anything I am doing; then regret it!

I don’t know why I do this, I need to stop letting fear waste my time, especially when I see others with similar ideas! Anyway I am hoping that the first little project will be up and running by the end of May, June at the latest.

 

Saturday Fun

My five year old had a birthday party; she was able to spend time with some of her closest friends. I asked her if she has a best friend; she replied “no”. For a second I felt a little bit of sadness, when she continued and said “they’re all my best friends, mummy.” I think finding friendships is always a big worry when you’re a parent; I do worry for her sometimes when she isn’t always part for the crowd. But I do think she has found her tribe.

I am glad; while she has found hers… four of us left our daughters to party while we had our own little party.

I say party, what I mean is child-free lunch. Where we could chat, drink AND eat; without stopping 25,000 times. I, too think I may have found mine.

 

Have a lovely week – I hear it is going to be a warm one!

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #30 Easter Holidays Week One.

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 30.

 

It doesn’t seem possible that I have reached week 30 of these weekly cheerful posts.

Unfortunately it hasn’t been an exciting week to celebrate a big number. But it has been okay.

 

Chicken Pox

We had been looking forward to Easter break for ages; two days in and the spots arrive a couple to begin with, which made us unsure of whether it would be the dreaded pox. But the next day more appeared, even more – it was very obvious that it had arrived. One child left to catch it. She has been in very good spirits, only suffering when her temperature spiked and she itched a little.

I am one of those parents who would have vaccinated had we had the money. Childhood illnesses are so unpredictable per child; they always worry me. I’m just relieved she’s been okay, just hope the youngest one will be too.

 

April fool’s Day

This week has been the inevitable lead up to the anniversary of our daughter’s death. I have done my upmost best to keep as buy as I could. I can’t stop and think; I can no longer stop and think about the unimaginable – because it isn’t the unimaginable to us. Anyway I can’t drown here; there is a post here which went live this morning. I can’t fall apart.

 

Time Together.

Being unable to leave the house, we have had time at home. The children have done things together, cake making, film watching. Just being together has been lovely. My son had a hospital appointment; we’ve to wait on allergy testing before ENT will decide on the next step for his enlarged adenoids.

 

Room Decorating

We finally have started the decorating process in the girls’ bedroom. The walls themselves are now a magnolia colour, but will finish with a theme that all the girls will love – I will let you know how that goes.

 

Easter

Of course, this year Easter has fallen on Melody’s anniversary, it is usually quite close to her anniversary anyway, that and the anniversary of my Dad’s passing, and most importantly my eldest daughter’s birthday Easter is usually the last thing on my mind.

They’ve all had chocolate, an Easter Egg hunt in the house and a new DVD – Paddington Bear 2. It had been peaceful.

Easter Holidays

Hope you have had a reasonable week.

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #27 Mother’s Day

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 27.

 

Illness

This week, I have been hit yet again with another cold, pains, and tiredness – just feeling pretty shitty if I am honest. I am getting pretty fed up with virtually having no energy to do anything. The youngest doesn’t sleep particularly well; she has never slept through the night. I guess it takes its toll. It wasn’t until I had the baby loss group that someone suggested that maybe it is my body reacting to the time of year. I am keeping myself busy, more so than other years – not intentional, at least I don’t think. Maybe it is. This time of year is bloody shitty, while I share old photos an reminders and try to be upbeat about it; maybe protecting my listeners – I don’t know. But I do feel shitty, and it does bloody hurt knowing that this time six years ago I wasn’t a bereaved mum.

 

Little Daffodils

On the first Tuesday of each month is our lovely pregnancy and infant loss support group; this week it was exactly that. It is such a lovely, supportive group; it is definitely a space I need right now. One of the members brought the group a candle plate with daffodils on, and she brought me a daffodil tea light holder, they are absolutely beautiful. Our local florist also dropped in a little surprise, left us some tiny daffodils for each member to take home as it is nearing Mother’s Day – really thoughtful.

 

News!

A couple of weeks ago there was a post by a UK charity on Facebook about loss. I commented about the lack of resources there are for babies who live and then die. I was then left an email; so I took the plunge and wrote an email, just to share a bit of our experience in the hope they could use it to pass it on. The first reply was for me to help tweak their information about our type of loss; which I felt so pleased about. As if that wasn’t enough I was then passed on to someone else, who wants to do more – which has lead me to be invited to London to help further with a baby loss project they are putting together.

It has been such an exciting thing, and I feel like I am being properly listened to about changing the way support and resources are issued; all will be revealed in due course.

 

Mother’s Day

I have had such a wonderful day, it is always bittersweet being minus a daughter – I am so showered with love I haven’t been able to think too much today. A trip to Bristol and of course their huge Primark! Best shop – ever!

My gifts from my lovely family are…

A Mini Pukka Pad

Yoga Mat

A large amount of sticky notes

Gloves

Reflection book – What if Mulan had to travel to the Underworld

A Wand pen

The Greatest Showman Soundtrack

You’re never weird on the internet book by Felicia Day

A pedal machine

Several cards, including handmade ones

Finally a keyring with our youngest daughter’s thumb print in it – so bloody cute!!

 

Hope your days have been kind.

 

 

 

 

My Cheerful List

My Cheerful List #26. Snow.

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 26.

 

An Un-Birthday

This week we reached Melody’s 6th birthday. It really never seems to get any easier thinking, or celebrating a birthday without the child who didn’t make it to her first. But it wouldn’t feel right not doing something, not remembering our sweet little girl. If you don’t follow my other blog, here is her Sixth Birthday.

We always try and so something for her, this year has been no different – well a little, it was quieter less company – but it was lovely. On her actual birthday, we went to Wetherspoons, with my in-laws, but without my older two children. We had a second un-birthday meal a couple days later at our local café; it was lovely.

We both worked on her birthday for the first time, for me it helped to keep me grounded; I had a few tears a few days before –  the lead up to her days are usually the worst for me. But I was lucky enough to have a friend from afar hold my hand when I could barely see through the tears; of course our family unit.

 

 

Wednesday Outing

The weather has meant that once again meeting with a friend was an indoor event, miserable and bitterly cold. We didn’t want to venture too far; so made the decision to pop to our local farm shop for a spot of breakfast. It is always nice to get the children together.

 

Snow

We finally have a day or so of snow. For the first time since 2013 we have had snow which has settled, the children were excited but were soon wanting the warmth of the house. The school was open for half day on the first day, where we ventured out walked there, the youngest two weren’t overly impressed. My eldest daughter’s school was closed so we went into town and had hot chocolate and paninis whilst we waited for the primary school to close. It was lovely.

Hours after we reached home, the blizzard set in, and we were put on Red Alert weather warning. The children did end up playing in the garden, but only for a short while.

Friday morning we woke to layers of thick ice on top of the snow, making the ground impossible to walk on – leaving us with a day at home, all of us.

 

 

 I hope you have had a good week and managed to keep safe and warm.

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #25

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. A chance to share with you something which has made me cheerful during the week, whether it be large or small, it is important to find something good even when it feels impossible. Thank you for joining me! We have reached week 25!

Back to School and Work

After a lovely week off it was back to routine, longing for the next set of holidays, five weeks and counting until the next. We managed to return to that routine swiftly; it has been a relatively quiet one.

 

Midweek Adventure

We met up with a friend as we do most Wednesdays, have done for a few years now – it is always lovely. This week we took the children to a soft play, we haven’t been for ages so it was nice for them to have a change of scenery, which they seemed to love every minute. We then had a wander around the shops and lunch it was lovely as always.

 

The Run Up

It is of course that lead up to our daughter’s un-birthday; a day of birth with no birthday person to celebrate it with. I really hate this part; it is difficult and really unpredictable. I can’t tell you how I will feel from one year to the next or from day to another. It is heavy and downright shit. Tomorrow should have been a little girl’s 6th birthday. I have had tears one day this week, moments where I was unsure of whether I would be able to compose myself for work or to breathe, but work grounded me, it gave me no time to think or let it consume me. I know it’ll be okay…but I also know it is perfectly okay not to be too.

 

Saturday

We had planned a visit to the beach; but it is super cold out there, so imagined it would have been even colder by the sea, so we took a walk into town via seeing our little girl at the cemetery – we’re not sure we’re able to visit on her birthday due to work, and my older two are at their dad’s, but they wanted to visit her too. We walked rather than take the car, although very bitterly cold it was nice and dry.

A few weeks ago I decided to try decorating and hiding some rocks within our town, I had heard about it from a fellow blogger on her Facebook Page (Whinge Whinge Wine), and thought I would give it ago with a couple. Well today we took 35/40 rocks which we had all decorated and scattered them around several places – the children loved it and thought it was great fun.

 

Cheerful

Spending the rest of the weekend chilled, as I said before the run up is always so shit, and difficult. It is incredibly lonely at times; people don’t understand about our inability to just “move on”. I guess they are lucky.

I hope you have managed to find something to make you cheerful this week.

Here is my favourite post this week. Not Just for Girls.

 

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #24 Half Term.

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. February Half Term! A chance to share with you something which has made me cheerful during the week, whether it be large or small, it is important to find something good even when it feels impossible. Thank you for joining me! We have reached week 24!

February Half Term

This week off had become very welcomed, the children were beginning to get tired, catching any bugs going and just generally needed a break. We weren’t sure what the weather would be like, it really has been a little hit and miss; but it hasn’t been terrible.

 

Monday

We decided on a quiet day, my older two children were at their Dad’s; so we had snuggles at home. It was lovely not to be rushing around getting ready for work and school.

 

Tuesday

Pancake Day! We met up with a friend and her two girls; meeting at our local café to have pancakes there. They had a lot of energy between them so made to decision to take a walk at our local Nature Reserve. We’ve not been there for months it is still as lovely as ever. The girls and their friends fed the ducks, run around and burnt some energy. It was so lovely to be out. Then we had Pancakes in the evening, yummy.

 

Wednesday

The original plan was to meet with friends and visit one of our local National Trust properties, however Baby Red woke up and was incredibly clingy, which resulted in her vomiting not long after. Which meant no meeting with friends; after a sleep for a few hours she perked up but wasn’t right until much later in the day.

Wednesday was also Valentine’s Day, where my husband spoilt me as per usual; including my new Dobby mug. I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day, so am not very good at enjoying it. Here’s why. It took me many years to like it even a little bit again. It’ll always be different.

 

Thursday

Another quiet day, I had a headache on and off, desperately hoping it wouldn’t turn into anything to put off plans for the end of the week. We attempted to sort things in the house too ready for decorating and new beds.

 

Friday

The weather was actually nice again, cold but not raining! So, we took a visit to the Nature Reserve again, this time including my older two as well. We live really close to it – we’re really lucky. It was such a lovely walk, the children enjoyed it. Fresh air makes everything seem better. Two of them had majorette training in the evening, really proud of them all to be continuing with this hobby, my son is on Panto break for a few weeks, so will return to training soon.

Little Red has found a new love in majorettes; she’s been doing it since she was three and competed once or twice that first year; then went on to have a break due to starting school and not sleeping. She really missed it, and figured she won’t sleep no matter what we do (it is getting better!), we let her re-join. Slow start but she absolutely loves it!

 

Saturday

A long-awaited trip to our local theme park – Crealy! They had a special half term offer of £10 a person; we took advantage of it and went with friends – new friends. It was a really lovely day; I hadn’t been in many years, my husband and our two younger girls have never been; my older two go regularly. So many rides, so much to do and see – we didn’t see or use it all due to time. We would definitely recommend a second visit. Crealy offers a free 6-day return if people are interested in going back again, ideal if used at the beginning of a half term.

 

Sunday

Today we are having a quiet day! Little Red is playing on the Xbox; baby Red is ‘taking notes’. I am working up to finishing the first draft of a book which I am writing. I have procrastinated far too long! This book is actually book two of a series of children’s books that I have been playing about with; I had started this one through the annual event Nanowrimo – November’s National Writing a Novel Month. I had done a big chunk of it, and then I didn’t finish it. Then I will attempt to finish the first one.

 

Here is my flash fiction post from Friday, I hope you enjoy it – Don’t Touch Me.

Not long until the next half term, two weeks at Easter.

 

 

 

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #23

 

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. A chance to share with you something which has made me cheerful during the week, whether it be large or small, it is important to find something good even when it feels impossible. Thank you for joining me! We have reached week 22!

 

Support Group

Just under two years ago, I took the plunge and set up a face to face support group for pregnancy and infant loss; it has been a slow start, and at times I wondered what I was doing. But more recently people have been coming and I am really proud of what it is achieving. In a selfish point of view has made me feel less alone. I am so pleased I didn’t give it up. I have so much more I want to do, but it really is a case of one very slow step at a time; with a hint of frustration of not getting the things I want to get done quicker! Overactive mind I guess. Any, I am so proud of this little group.

 

Mumble

This month’s group I invited a local businesswoman, she does embroidery amongst other things. I asked her for a very special bear; one with our daughter’s name on. They’re so amazing; we will get one each for them all. They are incredibly soft too. Yes, we are very happy with our new special bear.

Mumble Memory Bear

 

Grants

The group – Little Daffodils I run was included in our local carnival grants, so I had to go and collect the cheque along with a cheque for the majorettes with some of the committee team. I hate public speaking, I get all shaky and stutter – it seems to NEVER get easier!! We did have a lovely time, and turned it into a bit of a social gathering too.

Fundraising

It was the majorette bingo this week, as always a lot of fun. We had a good team and my daughter even won some Quality Street sweets which she was super excited about.

 

Mum’s Cheerful Day Out

Every couple of months my friend and I go and spend a few hours together without the children. We went to a New to You Sale; we then went for a light lunch. It was just lovely, dare I say it a little too peaceful! I managed to get my almost 5 year old a bag full of dresses and my son an outfit for just under £20. Nothing wrong with them, just preloved, she certainly loves them.

 

What a better week, looking forward to the half term break now, will see what it’ll bring.

My Cheerful List #22. Darkness

 

Welcome back to My Cheerful List. A chance to share with you something which has made me cheerful during the week, whether it be large or small, it is important to find something good even when it feels impossible. Thank you for joining me! We have reached week 22!

I am a little late with this; in all honesty I was in two minds whether to do it at all. But I am here.

Darkness

The weather has been so crap these last few weeks; any plans we make seem to be washed away. It has been incredibly hard again to find something cheerful in the days; it had become almost like living Groundhog Day. I got to the end of the week feeling incredibly drained, and felt like utter shit, exhausted mentally and physically. It has kind of hit me hard. I hate feeling this way. I have decided to lessen social media use; not be so hard on myself when I don’t write – with thoughts of nobody reads them anyway!! Ha! I will schedule ahead if I want to, but generally step away from technology for a while. I have hit breaking point. Of course I will have a read maybe once a day (I like the time hops, especially this time of year when the “Melody” posts appear. It had gotten too dark, I am struggling.

 

Light

Of course to balance it out, I spent the weekend only turning on my data/Wi-Fi once a day – it was lovely, I saw more things, more of my children; but out the car window – and just relaxed without my phone in hand or to my face. I had spent so long using it as my support system, the people in my phone are amazing, but there came a point that it also makes you feel incredibly lonely too. It just felt so lovely to put the thing down, no blog, just notes for my books but that was it. People will just have to ask for my mobile number. I have been incredibly lucky to have two of my favourite (adult) ‘J’s pulling my chin up. They can always make me cheerful.

 

Cheerful Plans

I have made plans with a couple new school Mum friends for the half term, with maybe even an evening out too! The children are really excited; plus plans with another friend for our regular Saturday afternoon adventure.

 

Family time

As I said above we went out for the day on Saturday, only to the shops and a spot of naughty lunch; we’d planned the park but as always it was raining! Sunday my older two went to their dad’s, so we had a day at home watching Harry Potter; they’re all big fans, I managed to get little red her own cape, which she absolutely loves! Then in the evening we spent some time with my husband’s family. That was really lovely, needs to be done more often!

 

So, this is my cheerful list this week.

Just in case you missed other posts which went out this week, here they are!

Fiction Friday.

Can’t Look Away.