Tag Archives: blog a day

National Kiss A Ginger Day

Apparently, it would seem this is a thing, it is a day in January to “celebrate gingers”.
I was horribly teased throughout my whole school life, repeatedly called carrot top, or ginger (pronounced with a hard G). People didn’t have a nice thing to say about it.
Even my Mum “joked” that she asked the nurses if I was hers because I am ginger.
It was bloody horrible. I spent so long growing up wondering what the hell I had done wrong, why I was so hated, why my hair colour was so disgusting – or at least that was how I felt because of how much I was teased.

It does set you up, forever, even friends had a go, of course looking back, they weren’t really friends to be doing that.
People had a fascination with wanting to know if we had ginger pubes (or ginger bollocks if you were a lad). But children, adults find it acceptable to ask because we’re ginger, in all fairness, it’s harassment, why people feel the need to know such personal things is beyond me.
I have never understood the ginger discrimination,

neither has anyone else ever had a valid reason to do so either.

“It’s different.”
“It’s ugly.”
“You’re disgusting.”
None of which are valid points to make another human being feel disgusting and unloved.

I don’t think society has changed, as far as I know, my children haven’t been bullied for their hair, which I’m glad about, but that could be because there are more in schools (we’re pretty damn hot).
But I do still hear adults make snide remarks about ginger hair, it only rubs off into the next generation. As someone who deals with baby loss families, I’ve even heard baby loss mums say about their own child “at least they weren’t ginger”. Very unpleasant.
It’s sad and bloody hurtful.

I may be oversensitive, overreacting, but when you have had a lifetime of teasing because of your hair colour, it gives you every right to be sensitive; but at the same time, it gives me the right to stand up for myself.

I’m a redhead, and now I love it, I love it more because all of my children have red hair, although the daughter we lost had strawberry blonde.
National Kiss a Ginger Day? Remember that there could be a redhead out there being teased, being forced to be kissed by some bully because to them it’s funny.

There is nothing wrong with having ginger hair-nothing. The only people who are wrong are those who ridicule others. That’s ugly.

Hot Red Heads

Kevin McKidd
Florence Welch
Ed Sheeran
Prince Harry
Tim Minchin
Kate Walsh
Sarah Drew

So many more!

Facebook Couple

He is my Soul Mate.


I am not “A ginger”. I am a person.

We are bloody awesome!!


Meaning Behind My Blog Name(s)

I run two, my first one I have had for a little while and have had several name changes in the five years I have had it, but had the current name for almost a year.

It is such a damn obvious name; I have no idea why I never used it sooner.



Melody and Me.

It has become such an important place for me, a safe place to share our daughter, to relieve some thoughts, to help others understand why and what I am thinking. It isn’t always easy to get these things across, especially some people would rather risk running across the road in front of a bus than speak about the life we lost.

It is strange to have had this space for this long now.


The Red Head Diaries

This blog, I have again had several name changes, and I have never really been overly confident with this one I must admit. I have no idea why, but as it is a parenting and general life blog, I always feel I am pretty much winging both life and parenting, and it isn’t always particularly exciting, but ultimately I don’t really do it for anyone else, I love writing if it gets read then bonus.

Again I can’t believe I never had this name sooner. I am a read head, my children are all read heads, my husband has a hint of red in his hair (although he won’t admit to it).

And red heads are absolutely awesome – and hot (tempered).


The Red Head Diaries




My Most Proud Moment

I don’t think I can pick just one proud moment. I am a typical Mum I am proud of everything my children do, and I’m also proud of my husband for the things he achieves.

I guess the biggest thing, was how they have all pulled together through the death of our daughter. How well the children behaved and continue to behave in a way I’d never imagined after what they’d been through.

My children together have broken through the unimaginable taboo; have failed to keep silent about the death of their sister.

They speak of her when they want to, they have taught their sister, and will continue to teach their baby sister, about the sister they never got to meet.

It was never part of the plan for them to have to teach the world about their sister, it was never part of the plan to watch their hearts break, to know that babies die.

To have walked through something that most adults have repeatedly said they’d not survive, to have come out the other side the little humans that they are.

They don’t talk about their sister 24/7, but they do talk about her, they nothing more than to tell people they have a sister who lives in the clouds; to write about her in school projects.

Showing the love for their sibling who they only knew through a plastic box, who was only here for such a short time.

So, no I don’t have one proud moment, I have a family who has many moments to be proud of.


The Red Head Diaries


An Average Day

I will have to be honest; there really isn’t an average day in this house.

We rarely have two days the same. Having two of our children being terrible sleepers, it is completely unpredictable on when or how our day begins. Mini has occasionally woken at 1am – for the day. Occasionally the pair of them will tag team, one night Mini will sleep until 4 am and Baby will wake, there is no two the same.

We have started bed transfer with Baby Red, but she’s often back in our bed between midnight and 3. We keep telling ourselves it isn’t forever. Surely not?

Mondays and Fridays have a little more routine, but I guess routine will get better once Mini begins school in September.

Mondays I tend to do group admin, I try and do a lot of networking which people don’t see, contacting various places raising as much awareness as I can, it is tireless; at times I feel as though I am speaking to myself.

Anything Majorette related I add in, but often that leaks in somewhere daily, particularly recently when we were organising a fun day.

Feeding Baby Red endless amounts of breast milk, making sure she doesn’t come to harm’s way, she goes overboard with her adventuring sometimes.

School runs.

Providing I’m organised enough I can get dinner started before the Mr arrives home.

Over the summer term, my Fridays

6am Get up

6.10 Shower

6.30 Breakfast

7.00 Baby Red needs boob

7.15 walk to work at school

7.45 start work

8.45 finish work

8.50 meet the children before they start school

9.00 errands in town

9.30 walk to see Melody

10.10 walk to school

10.20 arrive ready to chaperone swimming

10.25 -11.25 walking with and waiting for swimmers

11.30 returning to school at 11.45

12.00 shift

1.30 finished return home

1.35 Baby Red needs boob

1.45 lunch

1.50 Baby Red needs Boob

3.15 collect children from school

4/4.30 dinner

4.30 Baby Red needs boob

4.30 print anything needed for majorettes, get ready for majorettes

5.30 leave the house

5.45 drop two children to one hall

6.00 Stay with trainer in another hall

7.00 One lot of training finishes, (natter to one of the other Mums)

8.00 drive home

8.30 supper

8.30 Baby Red needs boob

9.00 hopeful transfer to bed for Baby

9.00 hopeful uninterrupted writing time

10-11pm bed time






My Earliest Memory

I’m not sure really, I don’t have any photos to help either. I was brought up around vintage car rallies; my Dad had is very own vintage car, but he repeatedly took it apart then would go a couple of years before it was in a drivable state again.

I remember being in Majorettes named Super Troupers as a young child, can remember the Pom Poms being huge, they were red white and blue (I think). We used to perform at various fetes including the schools and the Museum.

I wish I had photos.

I remember spending a lot of time with my Nan; we were close particularly after Andad (I couldn’t say my ‘G’ as a toddler so Andad stuck) died.

When I stayed overnight a lot she used to let me stay up late and watch the News at 10 , we’d sit in the dark, her real fire still glowed slightly…Moira Stewart read out the news. We’d probably have had cereal or tea and biscuits for some kind of supper.

I can’t really remember a lot about my childhood; things have happened over the past few years, I’m not sure whether my mind is just blotting things out, or my memory isn’t up to scratch. My memory changed somewhat after our daughter died, it meant a lot that didn’t involve my children has been wiped, not completely it just isn’t as clear any more.  It is really hard to explain. Some things I can remember.


So, I’m afraid there isn’t much to share here.


The Red Head Diaries



What’s In Your Fridge?

We’re attempting healthy eating I, for one have really poor willpower.

Our fridge at the moment is well stocked with fruit healthier things. Not a bottle of alcohol in sight – not for now anyway. I’m not a massive drinker, so it is quite rare to see anything alcoholic in there; being in charge of children it is hardly fair to be drunk in front of them all of the time. My husband is Teetotal, as an ex-alcoholic he completely quit many years ago.

This is our fridge.

Apple Juice 3 or 4 cartons of the stuff

Garlic Bread, the children like to have it with Spaghetti Bolognaise, which we’re having over the next few days.

Mince meat

Muller Light in the hope it will help curb my sweet craving, which is also low in calories.

Grapes, salad, and avocados – We are trying…


Tube Yogurts

A large pot of yogurt for my overnight oats.

Soft cheese spread

Dairylea Spread


Milk 16 pints of it…

Bottle of diet coke our once weekly treat.

What you can’t see it garlic cloves, jam, mayo, salad cream, Babybel.


Very boring.


The Red Head Diaries



Fifteen of my favourite things

My family

The home in which I live. My husband with ALL of my children are my world, plus our two cats. We’re as one. It is busy, loud and often crazy here, but I couldn’t stand for it to be any other way.

Being happy

No explanation really.

Grey’s Anatomy

Sad as it may seem but it really helped me escape daily life. My husband brought me a bundle of the box sets for my 30th birthday, we had not long lost our daughter, I was pregnant again, suffering with pains, vomiting and grief, it helped give me some sanity.


I have always loved it. From English assignments, to diary writing, I may not have been very regular with that, but it has been a huge form of therapy for me over the years. I was in a volatile relationship before my first husband, and writing letters to friends, conversations helped me to get things out. I had a break down just before be split, writing really helped.  Of course it has gone on to help me through my grief and loss.


I have always loved this too. I assisted at weddings as a teen did my work experience there too. I love being behind the camera, capturing images, posed or natural.

Summer Days

Warm Summer days where you can either just remain at home, drag the paddling pool out, and the BBQ, invite friends over. Or the days you can pack the car so full, it can take you anywhere, the beach, the countryside, a theme park. Summer helps things be more open.

Making Memories

As above with the Summery Days, but what you do, the rainy days can also be just as fun splashing about in muddy puddles, or staying at home with a DVD and a board game.

Listening to Music

I love all sorts of music, I don’t really have one set of genre that I favour over others, I used to love Rock music only, but I have furthered what I now like, I’m open to so much. Music takes you anywhere, brings tears, and gives laughter.

My Job

Although I have children, I never would have imagined ever working with them. I had worked in the care industry for many; many years even contemplated becoming a Nurse. But then things changed, there was no way I could be the warm person to do that job any more. There was a job advertised not long after our youngest was born, and I entered the world of working with children.


I have always loved Christmas, love the magic; I’d like to make it as magical as possible for them for me too. I have almost completed my Christmas Shopping for this year. The decorations, the food all of it, is perfect.


 (Although we don’t do this often enough)

We have our next camping trip coming up really soon, we’re really excited, we meet up with members of my husband’s family have a giggle, eat food and have some drink; until the next year.

The smell of “thundery” rain

When there is a storm brewing, the type with the heat, where thunder comes too, it is such a wonderful smell.


I have a little bit of an obsession with stationery. I have so many notebooks, some have never even been used, they’re all so very pretty, I could probably find a reason to own all stationery. My favourite is my two journals with a photo of me and Melody. I received them when she was still alive.


They have always been my favourite animals, right from a little girl. I always wanted to visit Mrs Tiggy Winkle Hospital. I think they’re wonderful.

PC/Tablet gaming…The cheesier the better

I love things like Town Ship, Sims but I also love Assassin’s Creed just as much. I’m not a huge gamer; that and we currently don’t have a console, but it is another way to get lost in a world, where you can shut out the world.

“These are a few of my favourite things”

The Red Head Diaries



Worst Habits

I probably have several that I am not aware of. I gave up smoking just over five years ago; I occasionally have the odd craving, but never give in to it.

I have very poor willpower when it comes to dieting, I try and then I fail miserably. We’re currently on it again; I would love to lose some for The Butterfly Awards.

Letting silly things get to me; I’ve a terrible habit of not standing up for myself, then whatever it is ends up eating me up.

I say sorry almost all the time, even for things that are nothing to do with me, or aren’t my fault I will apologise. I spent a lot of time saying it as I grew up, and for things I didn’t do.

Being shy, I guess this could be a habit; I am okay once I am in a comfortable situation, but I do get myself worked up about things unnecessarily.

Maybe talking too much – being too open. Some could say it is a bad thing, but I do like to ramble


The Red Head Diaries


Pet Peeves

I am sure there are a few I have hiding away in there somewhere, but here are a couple at the fore front of my mind.

When people make assumptions, without researching, or asking questions.

People who pull out onto Roundabouts, filling them so nobody can pass including emergency services. WAIT!

People who put others down, or not celebrate the good things people do, belittling great achievements.

But also people who only speak, when something good in your life is happening, but when there is dark clouds, the very same people are nowhere to be seen.

The way society see children as disposable, they can be easily replaced.

People who fail to take responsibility for their children, (not about anyone in particular..before the judgement pants are being worn)… There are so many people, who would do any thing for our children, would give anything to not have one who died….Just saying.

People who have issues with gay relationships – every single human deserves love, to love freely.

People who have issues with race, we are all the same.



There is probably a whole list I could share, but right now I am stuck.

Do you have any? Big or small.

What really pisses you off?


The Red Head Diaries



My Senses Right Now


I’m not sure where this should be heading, so I will just go through my human senses, and what each of them are, well…sensing.



I broke my glasses just over a fortnight ago, they have been held together by tape and glue, days where I’d accidentally knock them, and they would come unstuck – three or four times this happened, each time I was plunged into a world of blurry and poor vision, my sight is terrible, it was never the best but it was made considerably worse by my last pregnancy.  I’ve had my eyes tested in the last couple of weeks, they haven’t gotten much worse.


Playful chatter, or gentle snores are what fills my ears of a morning, there is rarely silence here, not even at night while sleeping takes place; some snoring and often talking too. With four children at home it can be incredibly noisy; often I need to say for them to lower the volume, although I’m not a fan of silence. I love the sound of the sea, the waves crashing back and forth, back and forth, it is such a peaceful noise.


I’m trying to diet, and it isn’t the easiest, I am tired a lot –  Velcro toddler, who STILL loves her breast milk around the clock, I find myself eating shit. But I am trying, I am trying to be a lot healthier, there are so many healthy foods I have never tried before. I am loving new tastes, I just need to eave the chocolate alone…


Rain, especially the daylight thundery rain, I cannot explain the smell, but it is such a nice natural smell… which is opposite to the next smell I love, steam engine smell, either from Steam Trains or the miniature ones, or the scent from the traction engines. It reminds me heavily of my childhood, going to steam rallies, with vintage cars and machinery. The scent takes me right back there.


Baby’s skin, I love how soft and perfect their skin is. The feel of fresh, chilly bedding and the cold side of the pillow is how beds should be upon entering them of a night time.



The Red Head Diaries