Category Archives: Cheerful List

majorette wins

My Cheerful List #35

Week 35 begins with the baby loss support group I run once a month in my local area – Little Daffodils. A remembrance candle lighting service has been arranged for October with one of the local churches. We have done one before, it was really lovely.

 

Midweek Outing

We found ourselves at Soft Play again, the weather wasn’t great, so it was another indoor outing, and the little ones like that particular one, as it is easy for them to do by themselves.

We had a quick trip to the shops and then a spot of lunch. The children always enjoy these outings, as do I!

 

Writing

I managed to get some fiction work written last week. Three pieces in two days; these have been scheduled for the weeks ahead. The Wind Walkers are this week’s instalment. I am hoping I can keep this up, as I really do love writing, I just get so tired lately that I don’t find the energy to even be awake, let alone write. I hope you enjoy it.

 

Gardening

We have managed to get some bits of the garden done this weekend. We can only do a bit at a time, due to finances, slow but hopefully it won’t take long to get it completed now. We have brambles at the end in our daughter’s memory garden, but the roots are in our neighbours’ garden, but we do need to be ruthless if we want our garden to be pretty. We also going to gravel the bedding borders, we’re not great at gardening, so can put pot plants there instead!

 

Barbecue

Having a tidier garden meant for an impromptu BBQ. We, as a family had put one on our food planner; then friends said they would be making a delivery, so they ended up joining us and another friend who I’d not seen for ages, it was lovely.

Majorette Wins

Another competition week is done, it was an incredibly hot one! But all the children seemed to have a wonderful time, and did so well! The troupe came away with nine trophies, plus medals for individual games at lunchtime, one of my daughters came away with a medal for individual marching, she came third. And she won best mascot for her Pom routine!

 

I am incredibly proud of all them for doing this hobby, my eldest daughter smiled throughout her routine, and my son really gave it his all. I can’t wait for the next lot!

 

Have a lovely week, I hope the weather holds out for a few weeks now, we’ll see.

cheerful

My Cheerful List #34

We have reached week 34. I have found this week to have flown by, with not a lot that has happened. We have slipped nicely back into routines from the holidays, which seem like such a lifetime ago.

I have struggled a lot this week, with events in the media; I am okay it just felt a little heavier than I anticipated. It is nice to have an understanding friend whom I have been able to be very open with my thoughts without being judged. It is very difficult to find the right support for these occasions, the organisations who set out to support aren’t always there, meaning having friends who really understand is priceless.

I have been poorly this week too, the arthritis has not been my friend, and tonsils have also pained me. Making me very drowsy on Saturday, leaving my only day off this weekend being asleep! Not impressed.

 

Midweek Outing

Went out with a friend again and her children to soft play, and lunch. I hope the weather changes for the better soon; there is only so much soft play we can endure. Although this particular one was very quiet, with only a couple other children there, makes the experience a lot nicer.

 

Keeping Fit

The previous week we began a regular walking evening, this week was no different. We took a different route; where I became the entertainment, getting both of my trainers stuck in the mud! I must admit it was hilarious, but I think we need to save those lanes for a dry spell!! I have the bug to try and lose this blasted weight! This week I have lost 4lb 9oz! I am very pleased with that effort; I hope to repeat the same next week.

 

Majorette Display

My Cheerful week is concluded with two of my majorette children displaying at a local Volkswagen festival. It was a little wet under foot, but they all seemed to really enjoy themselves. They’re such a lovely team.

 

They forecast snow and wintery weather for the coming week, let’s hope it is all lies….It’ll be May!!

cheerful

My Cheerful List #33 Winning!

Week 33 of My Cheerful List. I was just reading through previous weeks; and in those weeks loads of things have happened. Ups and downs, busy lives; happy and sad times. The fourth month of the year is almost done, where is the time going?

 

Sunshine

We have finally seen some lovely weather this week; it has been a very long time coming. Was working, but I did manage to get our huge pile of washing finished and dried. I don’t think it is set to last sadly though.

 

Little Outing

We’d planned to go to a local soft-play, but as the weather was amazing, and not knowing how long it would last, we took to the park instead. We met with a little boy and his mum, who will be going to school with our youngest. They played so lovely together, had lunch and just enjoyed the sunshine.

 

Back on the Wagon

So, I have taken to moving my ass back on the wagon and begun getting healthy again. Counting calories, has always been a winner for me, it is the willpower to stick to it that I find hard. I love learning about what I out in my mouth and when I am in the right frame of mind, I am more hesitant to putting crap in my mouth.

I am a comfort eater, so I do need to keep my spirits up so I can keep my weight low. As well as turning to healthier eating, I have upped the exercise regime, not as much as my husband – I am in awe of his willpower to keep going, he has done amazingly. He will admit he has had a slower week this week, but it has been a week of shit sleepers – worse than usual!

Anyway, I went out with two friends, and we walked, I think I worked out to be about 6 miles altogether. We chatted, giggled it was free! It didn’t feel like we had been walking for a couple of hours, so we’re going to go out again.

 

Winning!

Competition Day, it was a long one and we were about 2 hours away from home. But the children had such a wonderful time. It is always an adventure when we travel a little further afield; it brings smiles and certainly makes memories.

The children’s troupe took home seven trophies, and our very own red brought two of them herself by winning, best tiny tot Pom mascot, and best overall mascot. We’re all very proud of her, she is of herself too.

Looking forward to the next one.

I hope you have all had a good week.

 

winning

cheerful

My Cheerful List #32 Finding Friendship

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 32

Summer Term

First week back from the Easter Break, we have done virtually nothing. It has been nice to be back to a routine, but it has only just made me regret not doing a lot over the Easter break – of course the chicken pox put a stop to doing a great deal, but by not doing something always gives me some kind of “mummy guilt.” It has been lovely being back to work, as always it feels like I’ve never been away.

 

Midweek Plans

This week, although still very damp underfoot the rain held off enough to take a walk around one of our local National Trust properties. I love having a membership, especially during the nicer weather; the children love visiting them too. I really hope the warmer weather will be here soon.

 

Charity Things

We have received the videos to the interview we had last month; I feel incredibly proud to be a part of something so amazing. I find it strange to know that I did have a small part on this, when I really don’t have the confidence or self-esteem to do these sorts of things. I have also almost completed the first stage of a little package I have wanted to put together for a while, but I don’t know why – same with writing my novels – but I get so far, then fear kicks on and then I stop moving forward. I just pause anything I am doing; then regret it!

I don’t know why I do this, I need to stop letting fear waste my time, especially when I see others with similar ideas! Anyway I am hoping that the first little project will be up and running by the end of May, June at the latest.

 

Saturday Fun

My five year old had a birthday party; she was able to spend time with some of her closest friends. I asked her if she has a best friend; she replied “no”. For a second I felt a little bit of sadness, when she continued and said “they’re all my best friends, mummy.” I think finding friendships is always a big worry when you’re a parent; I do worry for her sometimes when she isn’t always part for the crowd. But I do think she has found her tribe.

I am glad; while she has found hers… four of us left our daughters to party while we had our own little party.

I say party, what I mean is child-free lunch. Where we could chat, drink AND eat; without stopping 25,000 times. I, too think I may have found mine.

 

Have a lovely week – I hear it is going to be a warm one!

cheerful

My Cheerful List # 31. Birthday Celebration

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 31

 

Week Two of the Easter Holidays, we still didn’t end up doing a lot. I wish the weather would pick up even a bout of blue skies, enough to dry washing on more than just the one day. It seems to be taking forever for it to arrive. We were still dealing with the aftermath of Chicken Pox from the previous week; I am relieved that it was done quickly. I just hope our youngest will be okay.

 

Birthday Treat

I took my eldest out shopping for a few hours, let her go and pick some clothes. She’s not the easiest to buy clothes for. She really enjoyed herself, and managed a decent Primark haul. It was of course, an early birthday treat; so she also had lunch too.

 

Meeting with friends

The five year old met up with her friend along with my older two and myself; we decided on swimming for a couple of hours. I can’t swim, but don’t mind the water. I was hoping it was going to help with my body pains, having a flare up of arthritis at the moment, it isn’t very comfortable. But I’ll be okay.

 

Breakfast Morning

It was the majorette fundraising big breakfast this week, it was quiet but it was fun as always. They’re a good bunch to be around. I met a woman who is also going to help complete a project I am putting together with Little Daffodils. I have wanted to do this for over a year now, but wanted this last item – because I can’t crochet! I am excited!

 

Birthday Party

We celebrated my eldest daughter’s birthday by having a joint disco. She had an amazing time with her friends, so lovely to see her having such a great time. In fact all her siblings had a wonderful time; the two year old didn’t stop!

Thirteenth Birthday

This brings me to her 13th birthday. I cannot believe I have a teenager – although judging by some of her strops you’d think she was already one. Born a tiny 4lb 8oz, hard to think at just 13 she is now taller than me, and laughs at the fact! She was incredibly spoilt, and deserves to be too. I am so glad she is growing, but my gosh it is scary how quickly it all goes.

 

Majorette Competition

The children had their first competition of the season today (a great way to celebrate a 13th birthday). They had a brilliant day, with the troupe taking home 10 trophies including my son who brought home best mascot medal. I am so incredibly proud of them all. Our five year old even competed in both of her sections too, last year she only did half of the competitions, the year before she did a couple; I am hoping she will continue as she loves it so much.

 

Other things

My anxiety levels have taken a little tumble this past week, as well as having a pain flare-up. I haven’t really cried or really struggle with Melody’s anniversary this year, but it has beaten me a little. We’re finding out so many things that were missed surrounding her death and after, it is incredibly difficult to process anything about it.  I’m worried for my husband and his legs. I like to keep busy, so busy that I can’t think too much about these things, and then when it gets quiet I do – then the flood gates open, makes me feel silly. This happened at the competition, I was grateful to have a shoulder to cry on. I am okay now. It’ll all pass.

birthday celebrations

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #30 Easter Holidays Week One.

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 30.

 

It doesn’t seem possible that I have reached week 30 of these weekly cheerful posts.

Unfortunately it hasn’t been an exciting week to celebrate a big number. But it has been okay.

 

Chicken Pox

We had been looking forward to Easter break for ages; two days in and the spots arrive a couple to begin with, which made us unsure of whether it would be the dreaded pox. But the next day more appeared, even more – it was very obvious that it had arrived. One child left to catch it. She has been in very good spirits, only suffering when her temperature spiked and she itched a little.

I am one of those parents who would have vaccinated had we had the money. Childhood illnesses are so unpredictable per child; they always worry me. I’m just relieved she’s been okay, just hope the youngest one will be too.

 

April fool’s Day

This week has been the inevitable lead up to the anniversary of our daughter’s death. I have done my upmost best to keep as buy as I could. I can’t stop and think; I can no longer stop and think about the unimaginable – because it isn’t the unimaginable to us. Anyway I can’t drown here; there is a post here which went live this morning. I can’t fall apart.

 

Time Together.

Being unable to leave the house, we have had time at home. The children have done things together, cake making, film watching. Just being together has been lovely. My son had a hospital appointment; we’ve to wait on allergy testing before ENT will decide on the next step for his enlarged adenoids.

 

Room Decorating

We finally have started the decorating process in the girls’ bedroom. The walls themselves are now a magnolia colour, but will finish with a theme that all the girls will love – I will let you know how that goes.

 

Easter

Of course, this year Easter has fallen on Melody’s anniversary, it is usually quite close to her anniversary anyway, that and the anniversary of my Dad’s passing, and most importantly my eldest daughter’s birthday Easter is usually the last thing on my mind.

They’ve all had chocolate, an Easter Egg hunt in the house and a new DVD – Paddington Bear 2. It had been peaceful.

Easter Holidays

Hope you have had a reasonable week.

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #29

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 29

 

I have had an incredible week, involving so many emotions. Completely up, down and inspired.

One thing I do know I need to be free of worrying about what others think of me, I want to be free of caring about people who have little or no thought towards me. Because I know if I don’t, it WILL destroy me. Time and time again, I let these things ruin the best things for me. I shouldn’t.

There isn’t a particular ‘thing’ for this, so please don’t guess. I’ve heard it is an anxiety thing – overthinking; maybe that is what it is, but this overthinking will make me sick. It will eat me up and break me. I walked out of a hospital leaving my dead daughter behind; I carried on breathing. I can’t let anxiety or overthinking destroy me.

This week I wanted to give up the one thing I have been able to do for said daughter and that is to care for people, to look after people in their darkest of hours. But I can’t do that, I don’t bloody want to give it up either. I need to hold on and paint my own rainbow, and be the colour my brain needs to focus on; I am sick of looking through the grey. For a moment I felt lonely and worthless. I am not meant to feel this way.

“Don’t you dare give up. If I’m not allowed to you’re definitely not.”

Is part of one message I received, from one of the most inspirational people I know. I will not go any further. But this person has given me the kick I need to keep my head up, to keep breathing – to not drown. While someone else with the swear words, but meant the very same. I think have found my people.

I know it is a difficult time of year, and it does feel like I am wading through treacle sometimes; that is allowed. I can’t let life break me.

I am alive.

I can do anything but I can’t do everything.

London Baby

The week began with more snow and a trip to London. We didn’t know if it was going to go ahead because of the weather. But the charity who wanted to interview me was insistent I go; so they offered to move the interview time, and pay for a hotel. We ended up taking the younger two; one had a snow day, of course, the youngest was at home anyway. It really was the most amazing experience. There were a proper film crew and staging. The girls and my husband were able to watch while I was interviewed; then my husband was able to be interviewed too – I can’t wait to share what we have been up to.

I have never been to London before, we didn’t explore or stay long – but I am definitely a country girl!

 

Majorette Competition

The competition season has begun. First one was today, our troupe hosted; in two weeks time they will be competing, and my eldest daughter will turn 13!! Crazy. We did have an eventful start, with the fire alarms going off, and a visit from the fire brigade – early on a Sunday morning and the clocks moved forward too – brilliant. They did get a free bacon butty for their troubles. Very memorable.

 

Have a good week. This time next week is her anniversary, so we’ll see.

 

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #28 Birthday

 

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 28

 

Wednesday Treat

This week we paid a visit to a small soft play area the little ones love, in a town close by – Shakees. We’ve visited for a few years now, perfect for very small people.

 

Mum’s Night Out

I went out with a group of new Mum friends this week; I even had an alcoholic drink! Am not a big alcohol drinker these days. It was really lovely to get out, have dinner and a giggle. We’re all very keen to do it again; very soon.

 

Friendship

I do find it hard to find and keep friendship; and question myself on a regular basis, about why I feel so socially awkward. I try really hard. It is such a nice feeling to be building a village of friends, who have children who love each other and as parents we can all make friends too. I was really worried about baby number four starting school; whether I would make friends or fit in. So far, it would seem my worries may have been not needed. I look forward to making lots of memories!

 

A Fifth Birthday

We celebrated one of our girls’ 5th birthday this week, she has been very excited this week. She had to go to school for her actual birthday, but she still had such a lovely time. We were terrified about her birth five years ago. We had fallen pregnant not long after the death of our daughter, leaving 13 months between their births. Here is her birth story. I can’t believe she is five!

She also had a party with her lovely friends from school, they seemed to have had the loveliest of times, and she certainly did and was very spoiled.

 

Snow

Well, as I write this we have a duvet of snow outside; we’ve only just recovered from the last lot. It is not what we want with our plans for the week ahead.

We did go out and play in it for a short while this morning, I think the adults had more fun, as the little ones, cried very loud tears until we returned home.

Here’s hoping for a glorious Summer now! This is what it was like six years ago

Have a lovely week, see you next week.

 

 

my cheerful list

My Cheerful List #27 Mother’s Day

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 27.

 

Illness

This week, I have been hit yet again with another cold, pains, and tiredness – just feeling pretty shitty if I am honest. I am getting pretty fed up with virtually having no energy to do anything. The youngest doesn’t sleep particularly well; she has never slept through the night. I guess it takes its toll. It wasn’t until I had the baby loss group that someone suggested that maybe it is my body reacting to the time of year. I am keeping myself busy, more so than other years – not intentional, at least I don’t think. Maybe it is. This time of year is bloody shitty, while I share old photos an reminders and try to be upbeat about it; maybe protecting my listeners – I don’t know. But I do feel shitty, and it does bloody hurt knowing that this time six years ago I wasn’t a bereaved mum.

 

Little Daffodils

On the first Tuesday of each month is our lovely pregnancy and infant loss support group; this week it was exactly that. It is such a lovely, supportive group; it is definitely a space I need right now. One of the members brought the group a candle plate with daffodils on, and she brought me a daffodil tea light holder, they are absolutely beautiful. Our local florist also dropped in a little surprise, left us some tiny daffodils for each member to take home as it is nearing Mother’s Day – really thoughtful.

 

News!

A couple of weeks ago there was a post by a UK charity on Facebook about loss. I commented about the lack of resources there are for babies who live and then die. I was then left an email; so I took the plunge and wrote an email, just to share a bit of our experience in the hope they could use it to pass it on. The first reply was for me to help tweak their information about our type of loss; which I felt so pleased about. As if that wasn’t enough I was then passed on to someone else, who wants to do more – which has lead me to be invited to London to help further with a baby loss project they are putting together.

It has been such an exciting thing, and I feel like I am being properly listened to about changing the way support and resources are issued; all will be revealed in due course.

 

Mother’s Day

I have had such a wonderful day, it is always bittersweet being minus a daughter – I am so showered with love I haven’t been able to think too much today. A trip to Bristol and of course their huge Primark! Best shop – ever!

My gifts from my lovely family are…

A Mini Pukka Pad

Yoga Mat

A large amount of sticky notes

Gloves

Reflection book – What if Mulan had to travel to the Underworld

A Wand pen

The Greatest Showman Soundtrack

You’re never weird on the internet book by Felicia Day

A pedal machine

Several cards, including handmade ones

Finally a keyring with our youngest daughter’s thumb print in it – so bloody cute!!

 

Hope your days have been kind.

 

 

 

 

My Cheerful List

My Cheerful List #26. Snow.

Welcome back to My Cheerful Post. A place to share cheerful moments which have made us smile during the week. In times where it seems impossible, it can be helpful to find something, no matter how small that moment is. Here is week 26.

 

An Un-Birthday

This week we reached Melody’s 6th birthday. It really never seems to get any easier thinking, or celebrating a birthday without the child who didn’t make it to her first. But it wouldn’t feel right not doing something, not remembering our sweet little girl. If you don’t follow my other blog, here is her Sixth Birthday.

We always try and so something for her, this year has been no different – well a little, it was quieter less company – but it was lovely. On her actual birthday, we went to Wetherspoons, with my in-laws, but without my older two children. We had a second un-birthday meal a couple days later at our local café; it was lovely.

We both worked on her birthday for the first time, for me it helped to keep me grounded; I had a few tears a few days before –  the lead up to her days are usually the worst for me. But I was lucky enough to have a friend from afar hold my hand when I could barely see through the tears; of course our family unit.

 

 

Wednesday Outing

The weather has meant that once again meeting with a friend was an indoor event, miserable and bitterly cold. We didn’t want to venture too far; so made the decision to pop to our local farm shop for a spot of breakfast. It is always nice to get the children together.

 

Snow

We finally have a day or so of snow. For the first time since 2013 we have had snow which has settled, the children were excited but were soon wanting the warmth of the house. The school was open for half day on the first day, where we ventured out walked there, the youngest two weren’t overly impressed. My eldest daughter’s school was closed so we went into town and had hot chocolate and paninis whilst we waited for the primary school to close. It was lovely.

Hours after we reached home, the blizzard set in, and we were put on Red Alert weather warning. The children did end up playing in the garden, but only for a short while.

Friday morning we woke to layers of thick ice on top of the snow, making the ground impossible to walk on – leaving us with a day at home, all of us.

 

 

 I hope you have had a good week and managed to keep safe and warm.